Don’t Have An Opinion


Don’t boldly stand your ground and strip away the defense of political correctness. Don’t explain your beliefs or spell out your stance using syllables that can be misinterpreted and sentences that can be ignored.

Don’t have an opinion.

Don’t have an opinion if it isn’t popular. You have to be different but only if it is approved and you have to be original but only if it is understandable and you have to be unique but only if it easily definable. You can think outside the box but only if it’s in a bigger box and you can challenge my thought process but only if, in the end, I am correct.

Don’t have an opinion if you own a uterus. It’s overactive and full of hormones and inhibits your brain from stretching its intellectual legs. Fallopian tubes destroy deductive reasoning and breasts impair intelligent notions and hormones counteract points and facts and reason. If you take a stand against slut shaming you’re an angry feminist and if you constructively criticize men you’re a lonely hag and if you don’t apologize for either you’re a stupid bitch.

Don’t have an opinion if you swing a dick. It’s too condescending and full of rage and inhibits your ability to think with rational compassion. Your testosterone is guaranteed to be overwhelming so a display of sympathy ensures homosexuality or weakness or defeat. If you take a stand against bullying you’re incapable of self-defense and if you constructively criticize women you’re a misogynistic Neanderthal and if you don’t apologize for either you’re a worthless asshole.

Don’t have an opinion unless it’s for me. If you’re a woman only articulate your beliefs if you’re trying to get a date or get married or validate your desirability. If you’re a man, only if you’re trying to get laid or establish dominance or enforce sexism. If you’re gay, only if you’re seeking approval or attempting to fit in or redefine a normal I am comfortable with. If you’re of a different color, only if you act the way I do or have a culture I can understand or a name I can easily pronounce. If you’re a republican, only if you want me to change your mind or you’re willing to endlessly apologize or you refuse to speak about your religion. If you’re a democrat, only if you didn’t vote for Obama or you’re willing to admit you’re a baby murderer or you admit your political affiliation is based on popularity. If I am not fulfilled or validated or able to pass final judgment about your intentions or livelihood or personality, your opinion is void.

But, if you insist. If you insist on stripping yourself naked and dipping yourself in permanent ink and displaying the multifaceted complications and desires and thoughts and dreams and beliefs that make up every fiber of your being, be ready. I will assume you’re an angry feminist or lonely hag or stupid bitch. I’m certain you’re pathetically weak or a misogynistic Neanderthal or a worthless asshole. It’s a known fact you’ll be looking for a date from me or a one night stand with me or approval from me.

Be ready for my criticism.

Then, be ready for it all to be worth it.

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