Don’t Send These Emails

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There will come a time when you will be faced with whether or not to send a follow-up email to someone you thought you hit it off with, subsequently emailed and have not hear back from since. Here are your options….

The No Shame

Subject line: Checking in

Hey ________,

Really fun meeting you that other night at _____________. Thought I’d be a little brazen and reach out again just to say I had a really great time, so let me know if you want to grab another drink soon. I know you have my number from that night, but just in case I gave it to you wrong or something – I’m 555-2222.

Hope you’re having a great day!

The Angry

Subject line: ???
Hey,

I’m sure it’s been crazy at work for you, but just wondering if you got my email 1.5 weeks ago and have any interest in the drink we talked about extensively when we met and spent the entire evening together. No worries at all if you’re no longer interested, but could you just drop me a line to let me know so I can confirm in my mind that you’re not an option? You could just say, “Hey, sorry, going to be totally busy over the next few weeks” and I’ll know what that means because everyone knows what that means.

The Passive Aggressive

Subject line: Hi 🙂

Hey _______________,

Just checking in to say hi again. Loving the gorgeous weather, right?!

Hope all’s well!

The I’ll teach you a lesson

Subject line: Listen…
Okay ___________,

I get that you’re not interested in hanging out again because you haven’t returned my email in close to two weeks. But my thing is, don’t say, “you’re really great, we should get drinks this weekend” if you a. know for a fact that won’t happen or b. think there’s a chance that won’t happen. If you know for a fact please stop talking to me and walk away. If you think there’s a chance say, “give me your number, maybe I’ll call you sometime.” But to say “we should get drinks this weekend” and then not respond to an email for two weeks when I know full well you have an iPhone is just weird. Don’t do it.

Thanks.

The CW Show Character

Subject line: [blank]

Hey ? Super fun getting to know you that night back at Chance’s party. I think I totally dropped you a line afterwards but cannot for the life of me keep things straight these days!! Anyway – drinks! Soon! We’re sooo much fun together, with alcohol ; XXOO!

The Seinfeld

Subject line: So this is crazy…

Hey,

So, I get this email the other day from this person I’m helping out with a freelance writing assignment gig – not important – but anyway, she’s all, “per my email blah blah weeks back” and I’m all “wait – I didn’t get an email from her…” So I call the tech guy who looks at my inbox system thing and figures out I’ve been all jammed up for weeks and not getting all these random emails! Then I realize I’d tried to send you an email after we met and thought crap! he probably thinks I’m a total asshole! But see it’s the computer that’s the asshole – haha – so here I am again just saying hi… and the night the other week was fun… and we should get a drink sometime, you know, if you’re interested!

Let me know! Oh – and maybe call me or text me too just in case this computer goes haywire on me again! 555-2222.

The Felicity

Subject line: Thoughts

Hey _____________,

So I know I sent you that email awhile back seeing if you were interested in getting a drink, but I’ve been thinking about it and I just think now isn’t the best time for that. I mean, if you were planning on us doing that we still could, but I just wanted to reach out and say not to worry about it because things are just crazy for me right now.

So – yeah – let me know what you were thinking. I’d hate to cancel if you’d made, like, a mental plan or something – but just let me know because no worries if you hadn’t yet.

Cool?

The business-style

Subject line: FWD: Hey there

Please see the below email dated 1.5 weeks ago.

Let me know your status!

Thanks!

The you-think-this-is-sooooo-smooth

Subject line: Kings of Leon tickets

Hey there,

Hope you’re doing well! I know things are probably crazy for you, but I just wanted to reach out to let you know that I scored two insane tickets to Kings of Leon this Thursday night. I remember that night we hung you were saying you love them, so I wanted to see if you were interested in going. We can just call that our follow-up drinks – haha.

Let me know!

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: If it takes you more than 10 minutes and two trusted friends to write an email to someone you like who has blown you off for 1 + weeks, don’t write it.