Don’t Share Your Drugs With Me: A Confession


The best drugs are free drugs.

Drugs are expensive and hard to get a hold of, (if you are lazy and want them hand delivered like I do), so the freer the better. Unfortunately, I am not a considerate user of said free drugs; I take long hits and huge bumps. My reasoning is simple, I want to get as high as possible, as quickly as possible for the least amount of financial burden.

Don’t judge. You would do the same if your drug of choice was the King of Kings; cocaine.

Robin Williams was right when he said that cocaine is God’s way of saying you have too much money. A decent high can cost anywhere from $50-$100, and trust me, it goes down quickly, leaving you wanting more. Ultimately it’s like gambling, you go in with good intentions and a set spending limit. Until you taste the rush of #winning and wake up the next morning – or in my case, realizing it is morning- with literally no money and extremely crisp memories of where it went.

The more responsible of us know better. We use smarter. We mooch; just enough to get high but not enough to get our sharing privileges taken away. Friends don’t mind sharing as long as you’re not an asshole about it, you know?

My sharing privileges were almost revoked recently, although not entirely of my own doing I might add. K kept offering and I kept indulging, unfortunately, her offering was just to be polite and I failed to notice the subtle hints that she didn’t really want to share. I ended up sending some money her way and things got smoothed over so crisis averted.

TL;DR: Don’t share your drugs with me, I’ll do them all and then disappear with a smile until next time.