Elle Magazine Gives Hilarious Tips on How to Spend V-Day Single
By Thoughtis
The progressive feminist thinkers at Ellegirl.com have assuaged the fears of single girls everywhere by offering up some inspiring advice on how to spend Valentine’s Day single. Writing a post each day with a new tip until the dreaded holiday, Ellegirl has already doled out two helpful gems to their depressed readers: treating yourself and taking a road trip with your girlfriends!
Channeling the film Thelma & Louise (minus the whole “getting raped and killing yourself” part), Ellegirl recommends burying your sadness by fleeing the tri-state area and hitting the road with an energetic playlist. By blasting music from Lady Gaga and No Doubt, your sobs will be drowned out and you’ll be forced to get happy. Along the way to your desired location, they recommend visiting a quirky site such as the world’s largest McDonalds in Orlando, Florida. There you can stuff your face with 5,000 calorie fries and magnify your chances of spending the next Valentine’s Day alone.
Their second piece of sage advice is to simply “treat yourself.” In mainstream girl magazine talk, that’s code for stress-eating cupcakes, wearing JC Penney flannel pajamas around your cold empty house, and distracting yourself by buying a ton of crap you don’t need—including shampoo, a hideous dress from Topshop and Marc Jacobs perfume.
See single ladies? You have a friend in Ellegirl. Who needs passionate love when you can have a Big Mac?