Every Non-Smokers Funeral Should Begin With, “Well, That Didn’t Work.”

People would rather blame the devil than look in the mirror

I am sick of people waving their stupid hands in front of their face with some implanted look of disgust while I smoke a cigarette outside. I’m already fucking outside in winter you brainwashed asshole. What else do you want me to do? I don’t shit talk you for being fat and stupid every time I see you. You’re lucky I’m even obeying this rule. I’m 27 and have been smoking for 10 years. Not dead. My face isn’t falling off. And I don’t need a tracheotomy. Contrary to television’s bullshit “Cigarettes are Bullys” campaign that treats it’s viewers like morons without giving an objective view regarding their subject. Also might I add that it cost $122 Million to put together, during a recession while a large percentage of the populous does not even know where to look for a job.

eCigarettes have replaced cigarettes. With self righteous assholes. “It’s water vapor. It’s a safe alternative to cigarette smoke”. Water isn’t cherry flavored yellow slug you fucking moron. Nothing you’re saying even makes sense. Media companies are even using the same tactics that sold cigarettes in the first place. Apparently Stephen Dorff’s Blade residuals have started to trickle. If they ever even paid well. Either way, he needs money. So this asshole that is paid to be other people is using early cigarette propaganda lines like “It’s time to take back your freedom.” I hope the cancer caused by eCigarettes effect Stephen Dorff first, and then every self righteous non-thinking troglodyte preaching spoon fed marketing lines to me as I freeze outside smoking a cigarette because apparently I’m a second class citizen now.

I hope the eCigarette’s cancer is faster acting, more painful, and makes pizza taste like a dolphin’s asshole.