Everything Changed When You Loved Me
By Liz Rae
i used to remove the love songs from spotify,
annoyed at the rhymes they sang and the melodies
that seemed commercialized
how could anyone possibly be that in love
and you seemed too good to be true,
like something was bound to fall apart,
we couldn’t possibly last
because good things don’t happen to broken people
and the words came from your lips,
like the melodies i had heard but never believed,
the ones i turned off, skipped, deleted when they played through my headphones
except i didn’t want to delete it when i heard it from you
i asked you to say it again, say it over and over and over
again
again
again
because all along i had been thinking it,
thinking maybe i was crazy for feeling that way
because no one can love someone that is broken
and when you said it for the fifth time,
everything i had once believed about love
was wrong
it was not like the melodies i had heard and the
stories people whispered on the streets
instead, it was orchestras humming in the evenings,
playful walks in the dark among ruins
drinking lates in bed
evening phone calls and being awoken early in the morning
making out on every street corner, making out at stoplights, making out in private at public events
unable to keep my hands to myself
it was fully understanding and caring, fully wanting to learn and to grow
fully wanting to give up aspects of life to make ways for the new
it was no longer caring about who else was interested or who else wanted to be with me
it was finding space and time and suddenly seeing a future where there was no future before
it was opening my mind to living together, having children together, getting wrinkled together
it was feeling whole
for the first time
discovering life for the first time
and everything that I had ever criticized about the music on spotify
was everything i ever wanted to listen to
and everything about my life changed when you told me you loved me