Ex-Marine Crucifies Himself And No One Cries

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The emotionless humanoid pictured above is one Joshua Klohr, an ex-member of the United States Marine Corps, an organization whose ex-members sometimes tend to be a bit touchy. This past Sunday—4/20, a sacred holiday to the countless weed-smokers in the weed-friendly state of Colorado who’d gathered outside the state capitol in Denver to dance and prance and celebrate weed—Mr. Klohr had himself attached by harnesses and hooks to a wooden cross and allowed himself to hang there for about an hour, presumably with pretty much the same dumb expression that’s on his face there.

According to Klohr, he was driven to this desperate measure of awkward political street theater to protest his discharge from the Marines last year after being convicted of insubordinate conduct.

And this is supposed to make us think he’s well-behaved?

Mind you, this is a guy who’d been “charged by Denver police in 2005 with setting a cat on fire and throwing it off a roof.”

And now he thinks it’s a good idea to put on his old Marines uniform and publicly crucify himself at a marijuana festival for no other apparent purpose than to bum everyone’s high.

If he pulls a public shenanigan like this and was also guilty of torching a kitty-cat, chances are he’s a psychotic jerkoff who deserved to get run out of the military before he started blowing up government buildings. I can easily imagine him conducting himself in an insubordinate manner, and I don’t like it one bit. Without needing to know a single official detail of why he was discharged, I believe it was the correct decision. I mean, just look at him.

I’m finding it hard to muster any sympathy for this asthmatic leatherneck. Instead, there is only contempt. According to the article linked above, Klohr has been mercilessly trashed online for his nutty stunt, which gives me a glimmer of hope for humanity.

I would be the last person on Earth to encourage you to publicly harass this confused young gent, but I think it would be perfectly legal if you were to kindly and respectfully inform him that you don’t feel bad for what happened to him and that he probably deserved it.