Expectations Are A Little Tougher When You’re In A Long-Distance Relationship
By Lucy Wickham
I understand that long-distance relationships are not particularly desired or ideal, but when it comes down to being in one or choosing to break-up, which is the better option? If the only reason for breaking-up is the distance, is that a good enough excuse? There are so many other components of a relationship to consider. Is the pain from separating really less than the stress of trying to maintain a long-distance relationship?
Perhaps it depends on the people.
I find it strange that you would rather be alone than know someone will be there for you when you get back, know someone cares about you. Maybe that’s just me though, someone who has been alone most of my life, and is just getting a taste of what it feels like to really be with someone.
I am one to ruin myself with expectations. I expect a lot from not only others, but also myself. I know better than to let expectations get the best of my relationship, though.
For example, I don’t expect to talk to you every day. We’ll lead separate lives. I won’t get angry when I don’t hear from you for days, but instead, feel content whenever you do have the time to talk. I’ll value it. And I’ll send you messages without expecting a response in return, because I know you might be busy.
I don’t expect our relationship to stay the same. I don’t expect you to stay the same. Similarly, don’t expect me to stay the same. This only leads to disappointment when the person you’ve loved has changed and all you can do is accept it and move on.
I don’t expect you to understand everything I’m feeling or always show empathy for me. How can you when you’re not there to witness what is going on? I was never that good at explaining things, anyways.
The only thing I expect of you is to be honest with me. I deserve to know when we are not on the same page.
The way I see it, is that if someone is not willing to go the distance, he does not like you enough to keep the relationship going. Obviously the break-up won’t be too detrimental on his life. Your presence won’t be lacking. He is capable of moving on, and so must you.
I will never be someone’s friend with benefits. Take me or leave me, but don’t expect me to be here ready and waiting for you when you get home. Even if I am alone at that time, I expect more from myself than to go crawling back to you.