Fat Men Make The Best Lovers, According To Science
Hey ladies: take a break from chasing that six-packed Adonis and instead divert your gaze to the oft-overlooked Homer Simpson doppelganger. You may thank us for it.
A study out of Turkey concluded that overweight men with obvious bellies last longer in bed than their thinner counterparts. These heroic researchers (dedicated to finding answers to life’s big problems) studied the BMI and sexual performance of 100 men seeking help for sexual dysfunctions contrasted against 100 men who reported no problems.
The result? Men with a higher BMI and, yes, unsightly guts, lasted an average of 7.3 minutes where the slimmer of the group could barely hold on for 2 minutes. Ouch, right? A five-minute difference is pretty significant. As in three times as long kind of significant. In fact, they found skinnier guys more likely to suffer from premature ejaculation, too.
At first blush this might seem counterintuitive. The penis if often referred to as the dipstick of a man’s health, so wouldn’t those at a healthier weight be able to last longer? Not exactly. Scientists say it’s more complicated than that. More belly fat, they say, means the man in question is housing more of the female sex hormone estradiol, which helps to inhibit orgasm. The researchers even went so far as to say that men with less masculine bodies have the upper hand in holding out than a guy who are buff, like, say, a Ryan Reynolds body double.
Sigh. This must be yet another one of life’s cruel practical jokes — and the silver lining if your man’s two biggest hobbies are beer and nachos.