Fuckboy Or Nah? 5 Smart Ways To Tell If Your Guy Is Just Playing You

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Fuckboys only want the trial run, they don’t want to invest in the product. And unfortunately, you’re the product. They will certainly take advantage of the “Free 30 Day Trial,” making you think they’re interested, and then they will delete all of your future messages as spam.

It’s time for you to take charge. It’s time to identify and expose that fuckboy. Here are five slick AF ways to do it: 

1. Ask a profound question.

Fuckboys cannot hide if you ask them a profound question. Their intentions are shallow, and such is their thought process, particularly when they’re with you. So if you ask them what they think about philosophy, religion, or success, and they give you a vapid response, or their eyes glaze over, you can be confident that you will drown in the puddle of their shallow depths. 95% probability that they are a fuckboy.

2. Walk and talk. Literally.

If he’s getting more and more antsy with each passing moment you spend talking or walking, you can know he’s batting 10/10 on the fuckboy scale. He does not want to talk. He does not want to walk. He wants to be either underneath or overtop of you, and neither walking nor talking are really a means to that end. 100% probability there is a fuckboy in your vicinity.

3. Suggest an actual activity.

Anything that does not involve your apartment or bed. If he’s eager to go to the movies, or to the museum, not begrudgingly going, you can be sure he’s low on the fuckboy scale. If he’s not interested in any of that, or he never initiates such plans himself, you’ve got yourself a whopping 98% probability.

4. Ask him where he sees himself six months from now.

A fuckboy is casual about almost everything. If he has no vision for himself, you can be fairly sure he has no vision for the two of you. This is a weaker correlation because other factors are at play, but nonetheless, there’s a 70% probability of fuckboy precipitation – and that’s enough uncertainty to keep meteorologists up at night.

5. Ask him about himself. Then when he’s done responding, note how he reciprocates.

Does he ask you anything in return? And if he does, is it just a “nothing much, you?” response, or is he really trying to figure you out? His lack of genuine concern for your well being almost unfailingly points to a lack of deep interest. If he’s not asking you every question under the sun and listening to your answer, you’ve got yourself a blindingly bright 99% probability.