Guess What? We’re All Scared, But That’s Not An Excuse For Never Taking Risks
By Kim Quindlen
Get over the fact that sometimes you suck. That’s how life works. You’re a person and you’re not perfect and you’re a work in progress. So, sometimes you will suck.
Be okay with the fact that you suck at stuff, because it means you’re trying. It means you’re not allowing yourself to settle for mediocrity and instead you’re forcing yourself to do stuff that is outside of your expertise or your comfort zone. Sucking at stuff means you’re doing stuff that scares you.
Don’t stop. Never stop. Don’t overthink. Just keep going. Keep going when you’re tired and insecure and most of all, keep going when you’re afraid. If you let yourself stop, all you’re going to do is question yourself, or make a list of all the reasons why you’re inadequate or why you can’t do this. You’ll stop being surrounded by the people who are running with you and instead will be standing next to the ones who want you to give up on your dreams because they gave up on theirs. You will feel the pressure to belittle yourself, to over-criticize yourself, just to make the people around you feel more comfortable with the decisions (or lack of decisions) that they’ve made.
Be tough on yourself when you’ve made a mistake. Figure out what you did wrong, why you didn’t listen to your gut, what you could have done differently. Acknowledge it and promise yourself that you’ll do better next time. Then be kind to yourself by getting over it, by letting it go – because you’re not making yourself or anyone else feel better by wallowing around and obsessing over your error.
Strong and successful people make a lot of mistakes. But then they learn from the mistake and forgive themselves and then they move on – better and stronger and with a thicker skin and an even more intense desire to do better next time.
Be okay with the fact that you’re afraid to fail and then try anyway. Being afraid to fail just means you’re human and you want to do well for yourself, and that’s a good thing. Fear in and of itself is not wrong, or something to be ashamed about. It is normal and sometimes even helpful and it is what makes you a person. Fear is only a problem if you let it stop you from doing something, just because you’d rather sit safely on the sidelines not failing but also not knowing what could have happened, instead of jumping into the race and seeing if, hey, maybe you do have a talent for that thing you care about so much.
So go do stuff – go try and go jump and go be afraid. Be okay with being bad at stuff and be okay with sucking at stuff. Learn to find comfort in it, even if you hate it, because it means you’re doing so much more and growing so much more than the version of yourself that is sitting safely to the side – the one who is never failing but also never moving from that one spot. That’s not you. You’re meant to be afraid.