Help! I Want My Roommate And I Think She Feels The Same Way.


My roommate and I are falling in love. At least I think. And kind of hope.

I’ve been living alone in a studio for the last few years, but was recently open to the idea of living with roommates again if I found the right situation. Little did I know how right it would be.

One day I’m sitting at a restaurant that I frequent multiple times a week, when I see two girls walk in to eat. One of them — we’ll call her Rachel — immediately caught my eye. But I’m not a big fan of hitting on girls when they’re with a girlfriend, so I left it alone.

Three days later, I’m sitting at the same restaurant, when Rachel appears, this time by herself, and sits on the outside patio, along a main street. Poised to approach her, I play the whole “What’s my opening line going to be?” game with myself for a few minutes. Suddenly, a guy walking on the street along the patio starts talking to her and eventually comes to sit with her for a solid 30 minutes. The whole situation caught me off guard, causing my “poised to approach her” attitude to lose all of its steam, so I didn’t. Whatever, you can’t win ‘em all.

Meanwhile, I’m searching for a new apartment through an online service, and I find an apartment I really like. So I message the person who listed it; turns out it’s a girl, there’s a second roommate, and the two of them are looking for a third roommate for a 3-bedroom apartment. We agree to meet, and when we do, the second roommate is — you guessed it — Rachel.

Eventually, the three of us decide that I’ll be the third roommate, and I subsequently lose all hope regarding Rachel, solely because the unwritten rules say you can’t (or at least shouldn’t) mess around and/or date your roommate. Right? Well, maybe not…

It’s been a week since I’ve moved in, and frankly I feel like I’m getting exponentially more vibes from Rachel. We definitely flirt, and she’s pretty touchy-feeling with me. It probably goes without being said that I’m reciprocating with vibes of my own, trying to find a medium between making her aware of my vibes while not being too obvious. But maybe she’s just a super friendly, touchy-feely person with everyone in her life? Maybe she feels overly comfortable with me because we’re roommates?

But that’s not all. Being roommates now, we’ve spent a lot of time together, both alone and with the third roommate. We’ve talked about dating in general, what we want in a significant other, what we want in the future, and other things of that nature. Based on those conversations, it really seems to me that we’re a great fit for each other, because we’re both looking for the same things, both in the short and longterm. Which leads me to believe that the risk is worth it, because she’s not just a girl who I want to have fun with; it seems like there’s some serious long-term potential here.

So, what do I do? Ultimately, I have to (or at least I think I have to) address the situation at some point. A friend of mine told me to make Rachel dinner, just the two of us, in the apartment when the third roommate isn’t there, and see what comes of that. It’s a good idea, but I don’t like to beat around the bush and would rather just sit her down at some point to ask her point blank, “Is something going on with us?”

I’m writing this post solely to get feedback from you, the readers, to determine how I should treat this situation. Feel free to respond in the comments section.

If it works out, you’re all invited to the wedding.