Here’s The One Thing Women Care About Most In A Relationship (And Why It’s Disappearing)


While it’s not for everyone, a lot of women and men want to eventually meet someone and get married. For many it’s still the end goal of the entire dating/relationship process. In days of yore like the 90s this was less of a difficult decision. Some people might have been fine with marrying 2 or 3 times. Heck, even the President was stepping out. But today it isn’t so simple and, for women, that added complexity boils down to exactly one thing and one thing only, money. Catherine Rampell from the Washington Post (absolutely read her whole article) spells out the issue as based on a recent Pew Poll.

When asked what qualities they’re looking for in a potential spouse, never-married men were most likely to say that finding someone who shared “similar ideas about having and raising children” was very important to them. This was a priority for women, too, but not the most commonly cited one.


Women were most likely to say they wanted a spouse with a “steady job.”

You may be aware that we’ve been existing in less than ideal economic conditions for the last six years. The hardest hit by the Great Recession of 2008? Men by a mile. Rampell points out that there are now approximately 91 employed single men for every 100 single employed women.

In the same poll, the majority of men said that, to them, women having the same values regarding family was the most important thing in a marriage. Their wife’s employment doesn’t seem to rank in the same way. The men answering this way, however, may be employed and if they are employed then they’re already making more money, on average, than women are. So why would they ever answer that their wife having a job was the most important thing? This is about resources (money), after all and there’s 100 employed women for every 91 employed men. It’s not even on most men’s radar as a consideration but it has to be on women’s radar if they want to increase their chances of a stable marriage.

Millennial men reported having median annual household income of $77,000; women as a group reported their income was $56,000: for every $1 the men earned, women earned about 73 cents.

Keeping in mind that the above numbers have nothing do with pay equality, being married today still requires two incomes because of both stagnant wages in most fields and the increased cost of living. Both couples need to be pulling in a salary if they want to give it a go.

Of course it shouldn’t be a surprise that this was the number one issue for women. After all, women have jobs if they want them. Men don’t. At the same time, if women want to have children then they’ll need their husband to be making money while they take time off from work and, in general, even a millennial family needs that higher salary.

Get a job gents, keep it, and be sure to remember this poll the next time you’re reading 15 ways to woo her on a budget.

featured image – Shutterstock