Here’s To The Five Years Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back

Here’s to the confusion that kept me up for weeks or months trying to figure out my life. Trying to figure out who I am. Trying to make ends meet. Trying to chase happiness and chase love. Here’s to all nights I chased the wrong kind of love and ended up broken. Here’s to the days I thought that happiness was right around the corner but it eluded me.

Here’s to the loneliness and the solitude. The loneliness inside my mind when no one understood me or what I was going through and the solitude inside my heart when it felt empty and homeless; trying to find a home in all the wrong places. Trying to find where it belongs.

Here’s to all the wrong decisions and all the wrong turns. Here’s to the times I fell down and couldn’t get back up. Here’s to the times I believed in someone who didn’t believe in me. Here’s to the times I had to act alive when I felt dead inside. Here’s to the years that flew by, the opportunities I missed, the words I left unsaid because I thought I had forever. I thought people didn’t leave. I thought people always came back.

Here’s to the craziest five years of my life. The years that shaped me. The years that taught me everything about myself. The years that made me wiser. The years that made me stronger. The years that made me grow. The years that showed me the meaning of life and the meaning of love.

Here’s to the last five years that I’ll never get back. Here’s to every year I screwed up and every year I hated because it got me closer to the best years of my life. It got me closer to a kind of life I can accept. A kind of life I can love. Here’s to the tears and the heartbreaks and the pain, they made me appreciate the simple pleasures. They made me look beneath the surface. They made me look past a smile. They made me read between the lines and they made me understand God.

Here’s to the years that everyone says should be the best. Here’s to the years that society thinks we should have it all figured out. Here’s to the hardest years of growing up because they’re full of confusion, doubt, instability and battles. Here’s to surviving these years. Here’s to embracing them instead of loathing them. Here’s to looking back at the journey and feeling proud.

Here’s to the hardest five years of my life I’ll never get back, but here’s to the next five years of my life that I’m all prepared for. The calm after the storm. The rainbow after the hurricane. The peace after the war. Here’s to the next five years of my life that I’m bound to fill with love, happiness, hope and wonder. Here’s to the rise after the fall.