Here’s What You Can Tell The Next Person Who Asks, ‘Why Are You Single?’
By Ari Eastman
You’re single because you understand the importance of learning to love yourself first. You know the radical power that comes with self-love (and how badly we all need it before giving ourselves to anyone romantically). You’re okay taking the necessary time to discover how to gain internal validation, not just external.
You’re single because you’re taking the time to heal. Perhaps the hurt from what once was still haunts you. Certain trauma sticks with us for a lifetime. You don’t want to move on just for show. You want to actually move on, or at the very least work towards being your healthiest. And doing that requires work – the kind of work that isn’t fun. You’ll have nights filled with nostalgia, the kind that turn your tear ducts hot. But you want to get through those moments before diving into something new. You want to give yourself a chance.
You’re single because you have other priorities right now. It’s not like career and friendship and love can’t all exist at once, but maybe you want to tackle one at a time. Maybe you’re the type to pour so much energy into what you do, there isn’t room to multitask. There’s nothing wrong with that. If you’re in love with something (that isn’t a someone), you want to pursue it with everything you’ve got.
You’re single because you haven’t met someone who makes the alternative seem like the better option. Some might toss words your way like ‘picky’ or ‘selective’, but why should that be a bad thing? Why shouldn’t you hold out for someone who makes your head spin? Time is one of the most precious things we have. You’re not interested in wasting it on someone who doesn’t conduct electricity throughout your bones.
You’re single because you know what you deserve and you haven’t found it yet. And you know that being with the wrong someone is often worse than being alone.
You’re single because you just are. And frankly, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. You don’t ever owe the world an answer.