Here’s Whether You Would Survive A Horror Movie, Based On Your Favorite Flavor Of LaCroix
By Jacob Geers
Pamplemousse (grapefruit)
https://www.instagram.com/p/BIuiVimj88e/?tagged=lacroix
Movie watchers have a lot of polarizing opinions about you, but you’re absolutely an interesting character and you manage to survive. By the end, some people are rooting for you to croak, but you persevere just in spite of them.
You survive.
Lime
You are a reliably good character. Nobody hates you — as a matter of fact, people like you — but you just aren’t that interesting. You are the character who gets killed before we really know you, or who stands in the background while the more exciting characters are embroiled in the action.
You die.
Pure
https://www.instagram.com/p/BIspN7nhLdB/?tagged=lacroix
You are the ethically pure and ideologically rigid. You are the character who wants to follow the rules, and probably advised against getting into a horror movie-esque situation in the first place (i.e. “Maybe we shouldn’t look for help at this creepy AF house??). Despite this, you just don’t have the originality to make it.
You die.
Apricot
https://www.instagram.com/p/BIuvojbDafZ/?tagged=lacroix
You’re the annoying poser of the group. You really want to be like the rebel Pamplemousse, but you just can’t pull it off. You are killed off, probably to the relief of the other characters.
You die.
Lemon
Like lime, you don’t really offend anyone and stay out of the limelight. Unlike lime, you manage to stay so under the radar you actually make it.
You survive.
Orange
https://www.instagram.com/p/BIs2fp9AAVK/?tagged=lacroix
You are the character that everyone expects will die, but actually manages to just barely manage to survive. Nobody expects to like you, or for you to have survival skills, but you surprise everyone.
You survive.
Melón Pomelo (cantaloupe and pink grapefruit)
https://www.instagram.com/p/BGUS25jx-h6/?tagged=mel%C3%B3npomelo
You are that super annoying, really aggressive character that everyone knows will die — and actually does die. You probably yell at the ghost or the serial killer at some point to everyone’s chagrin.
You die.
Cerise Limón (cherry lime)
https://www.instagram.com/p/BIs-f0LDWIQ/?tagged=lacroix
You are the character who mysteriously vanishes and nobody is quite sure whether you make it or not. It’s super ambiguous, so you might show up in a sequel or might be 6 feet under.
You probably die, but maybe survive?
Coconut
You just die.
You die.
Passionfruit
You snag the most gory, disgusting death of all. In the middle of doing something heroic you make to get your head chopped off with an axe, or run over my a car, or something particularly repulsive.
You die.
Piña Fraise
https://www.instagram.com/p/2eWAU4oL8J/?tagged=pi%C3%B1afraise
You are fairly innovative, and are the character who can figure out the bizarre puzzles or traps in the movie. You have a few close brushes with death, but you ultimately make it.
You survive.
Mango
https://www.instagram.com/p/BItFDbRjoee/?tagged=lacroix
People start the movie thinking you’re just another trope character, but you actually have an originality streak and surprise people. You probably still die — because let’s be honest, not many people survive horror movies — but you get close!
You die (98% sure).
Pomme Bayá (apple berry)
https://www.instagram.com/p/p_vWt0L7xZ/?tagged=pommebay%C3%A1
You are the character who dies in the movie’s prologue or in flashbacks. You don’t even make it to the actual movie.
You die.
Peach-Pear
https://www.instagram.com/p/BIu0vrxAGPm/?tagged=lacroix
Nobody knows if you died or not, because you were such a minor character your life / death wasn’t even relevant.
You die.
Cran-Raspberry
https://www.instagram.com/p/BIvLtDeB9CN/?tagged=lacroix
If you survive, it’s because you were dating one of the more exciting flavors that simply had to make it to the end of the movie.