How Being Honest With Yourself Will Make It So You’re Never ‘Ghosted’ Again


Time and again, I’ve said that you’d know a person is not right for you when there is a need to chase them. I believe that those who were meant to stay in your life will never leave; if they do, they would always, always find their way back regardless how far they wander.

At some point, we meet someone who seemed to fill the void in our lives; he is that one person who picked you up at your lowest, the one who constantly made you smile, and the one who made you feel like you really mattered. Spending time with him was always the highlight of your week, and somehow, this flicker of hope lights up inside you — that he might be the person you were waiting for. Problem was, he didn’t feel the same.

One-sided expectations are tough to battle, especially when the other person gives you reasons to be attached. A lot of them would say they were just being nice and friendly, but we all know that they tend to cross that line, all the while saying that it’s just them being casual. I don’t believe in that crap.

You would know when you’re just being friendly, more so when you’re just trying to cozy up to someone. Do you treat your friends the same way you’re treating this other person? If you were being honest to yourself and said no, then do that person a favor and clear things up, just so you could be on the same page. Never give another person a reason to believe that there is a chance between the two of you when you know yourself that there’s none.

Ghosting also seems to be a trend nowadays. “Ghosting” is a term referring to the act of ceasing all communication with someone, just so that person could get a hint that the “ghoster” does not want anything to do with the “ghostee” anymore. It’s wrong, rude, and the most cowardly act that you could do. At least tell the person you’re involved with that you’re not interested in taking things further with them. That’s called common courtesy.

However, if you genuinely care for that person, man up and openly state your intentions. Not everyone is good in decoding mixed signals. It will also save you both a lot of time on guessing if you feel the same way towards each other. Guessing games are only for kids; and we all know we’re way past the age bracket where we could be considered as such.

In any case, never be the person who chases, and never be the person who gives false hopes.

To the person who always finds herself always chasing people — stop. You do not deserve it. You do not deserve him. He does not deserve you. Learn to appreciate the people who stayed. Know that you never have to try hard to get a person to remain in your life if he truly cares about you.

To the person who gives false hopes — stop. You don’t know how crushing it could be for a person to find out that you were not all you seem to be. You have no idea how painful it is to have your hopes come tumbling down. Know that you are destroying people in the process.

Expectations can make or break a person. At this day and age where a hook-up culture is tolerated, be at least decent enough to be honest about your feelings, and be wise enough to know when you’re being taken advantage of. Life is too short to waste time on hurting people and getting hurt. Be fair, not only to yourself, but also to others.