How To Be A Lady In 2015

I know what you’re thinking: “Kara, didn’t Ella already write this for guys?” She did, and she did it beautifully! Which is why, when reading it, I was inspired to create a counterpoint version. Because for every gentlemen, there’s a lady.

“Lady” is a loaded word, so let’s throw away all preconceived notions we have associated with it and rethink what the role of a lady is in the coming year.

A lady is the woman we all want to be. She’s put-together most of the time, but she’ll still go to the store in her sweatpants and not think twice about it. She’s figuring out her place in this world, learning what she brings to the table and how to enhance it. She’s got a job she likes and does well at; she likes to be challenged. She’s kind, but she’s not perfect. She’s not interested in being perfect.

A lady makes people feel comfortable around her. She’s warm and welcoming, she’s genuinely interested in the people she surrounds herself with. She asks questions – not just silence-filling questions, but real questions. She wants to know more about you, and if you’d like to hear about her, that’s fine, but she doesn’t need to dominate the conversation talking about herself.

A lady in 2015 wants to know more about the world. She reads everything from her Twitter timeline to magazines, news, even Buzzfeed lists. She’s not above any media. She knows that everyone on the street has value, even if it’s not immediately apparent. A lady has opinions, ideas. She can back them up. She can debate someone with opposing views without getting upset and starting a fight – or at least she’s learning how to keep her cool.

A lady knows herself, what she likes and what interests her. She has an idea of what she wants out of her life; she’s OK with it not being 100% defined just yet. She’s confident, but she’s got things to work on and she knows it. She takes advice from those who’ve been there before and she really listens to it. She values her friends, her mentors and her family.

She’ll allow you to pick up the check if you really want to, but she doesn’t require it. She’s got her own money, and she’s learning how to budget, how to save, how to plan for her future. Because she realizes that she won’t be in her careless twenties forever. A lady wants her own family someday – whether that’s a family of friends or children of her own. She’s not defined by any previous idea of what it means to be a woman. She’s comfortable in love, but she’s comfortable on her own, too. She isn’t above wanting to be taken care of sometimes, but more importantly, she wants to be a partner in a relationship.

A lady has learned from her mistakes, though she isn’t afraid to make new ones. Fucking up is OK with her as long as something good comes from it. A lady tries really hard to be as optimistic as possible, because what’s the point of being angry and sad when the world can be so wonderful?