How To Deepen A Relationship Through “Soul Sex”


My girlfriend and I were watching “Kill Your Darlings” last night. There are three things that any beat era thing will make you want: intensity of experience and expression, Benzedrine (just a catalyst for the first), cigarettes.

“Let’s go outside and smoke a cigarette.”

“I don’t smoke,” I inform her.

She just looks and we go outside and look at water, the silhouette of trees, the waters reflections of said silhouettes, and a mediocre sky of stars.

I told her we ought to write a poem together. Or say a poem together anyway.

It was awkward. I wrote a bad book of poems one time but I never write in public and certainly don’t recite them. Her and I are maybe too comfortable in front of each other with most things but there was something about creating together that was more intimate than sex.

Five minutes in and we forgot all about awkwardness. It was sincere, instant, and connected. We were flowing and could feel our minds touching in a way we never did before.

So this is the game:

  1. Share a field of view and recite two (or more).
  2. The other person must respond instantly – the idea is not to think.
  3. You cannot formulate what you will say until you actually say it.
  4. Trudge through the really bad ones until you start to flow and a few lines aren’t miserably terrible.

It sounds weird and it takes effort (only the start) but it will bring you closer together than watching TV. In a way it’s more intimate than sex. It’s like soul sex. Sweaty sensuous soul sex. Awwwyeahhhh.

featured image – Flickr / .reid.