How To Lose A Brave Girl


We all know this brave girl. The girl who is strong, bold and resolute, daring and fearless. The girl who has overcome many obstacles, recovered from failures through valiant efforts, and wears her successes and lessons in failures as badges of honor.

She is stoic, yet soft-hearted. She is brave because she embraces vulnerability. Eventually, she will give herself to someone wholeheartedly, trusting them and expecting the same trust in return. It will take time for her to get to this place which is why you need patience with a brave girl.

She is okay with conflict, welcoming it as an opportunity to learn more about her partner and grow from the initial cause of it. She knows that to face conflict is to gain answers and closure. Not to result in a fight, but to result in understanding.

You should know that a brave girl is unwilling to settle. Unwilling to allow herself to be in a romantic situation that could potentially harm her, unwilling to accept what she knows she doesn’t deserve. You see, the brave girl is strong, she is grounded. She has faced darkness head on and come out stronger because of her challenges. She is rooted in her beliefs and knows what she brings to the table in a relationship, friendship, job, or any aspect of her life. She knows her strengths and actively works on her weaknesses. Because of these things, she knows herself, what she wants, and lives with patience.

She will be a prize to be won, not just because of what she brings, but because of the way she lives her life. Because of who she knows she is, confident, strong, and brave. Because of this, if you lose her, it is a loss that will be felt heavily. A loss that will leave an imprint on you.

You will lose her by being dismissive.

By minimizing her struggles and successes. By always turning the tables on her in the midst of a disagreement. By making everything about you, and turning yourself into a victim. Know this, a brave girl never takes a victim mentality, even though she may have been a victim at one point in her life. She is a warrior, and she will not allow herself to be diminished, nor will she accept when you try to play that role.

When she calls you out on something you’ve done that doesn’t sit right, she expects you to be honest with her and come clean. She won’t settle for your lies or allow herself to be looped into your mental mindfuck. She will not allow you to minimize her emotions, by acting as if her feelings are not valid. She doesn’t need validation from you, but she certainly won’t accept your attempts to diminish her emotions.

You will lose her with your indifference.

By treating her like you could care less whether or not she’s in your life. Your indifference in a situation that you’re in the wrong, you’ve hurt her, and you act like it doesn’t matter. Once again, when you turn the tables on yourself, in a narcissistic way to make every situation about you, you show her that her feelings don’t matter. You show her in your relationship, you are the only one whose feelings will be valid.

Indifference is a spit in the face of vulnerability. It is a blatant disrespect for someone trusting you with their emotions and opening up their heart to you. Indifference is selfish. And your indifference will lose her.

You will lose her when your actions never match your words.

Anyone can talk the talk. The true understanding of someone’s character comes from their actions. When you think you’re saying all the right things to a brave girl, just know that she is waiting to see if your actions match them. She is confident in her own words and takes pride in knowing her actions will follow her words, but if your actions don’t match your words, she will never fully trust you. And why would she? People who always say one thing and do another are not honest. Even though they may think they are, or they may want to be the person they’re trying to portray themselves to be. They will never be the person this brave girl needs or wants.

You will lose her by letting her walk without a fight.

No relationship is perfect, and there will always be a disagreement. Utopia doesn’t exist. Humans are perfectly imperfect, full of their own unique flaws. Relationships are two people with an understanding of one another’s flaws and the willingness to accept them and work together as a cohesive unit, as well as work individually on their own flaws.

But arguments and disagreements always ensue. There is always a point where one partner is giving more than the other, and when the brave girl is fighting for her relationship, fighting for you, the moment you decide that she isn’t worth the fight is the moment you lose her for good.

In some ways, everyone likes a challenge, but they also like a sure thing. The brave girl has always lived her life by facing the darkness, fighting, and conquering her fears. But when she’s in a relationship, she wants the same transparency and honesty that she gives. Put simply: what she really wants is stability. She doesn’t want everything to be a struggle, she doesn’t want to always have to be stoic, she doesn’t want to hide or stifle her emotions. She wants someone with whom she can be open and transparent with, unfiltered and completely vulnerable. And because she knows who she is, she is patient about finding this person. She will wait for this person, she will live her life, and she will not settle for anything less.