How To Master The Art Of Rejection


The job you applied for was filled with a candidate who, oh wait, doesn’t happen to be you. The person you thought you were going to end up with chose someone else. You were the best point-guard on your team, and with one second left of the tied championship game, you missed the easiest layup in history. The client you’ve worked with for months selected a service provider for their largest project and guess what, it wasn’t you. Since the first step is admitting it, say it out loud. “I got rejected. I lost this one.”

We all deal with rejection and loss on a day-to-day basis, some big and some small. Don’t get me wrong. Rejection does suck, but just like anything else with practice, you’re able to tackle losses with a more humbled and different mindset. They’re not losses, they’re simply learning experiences.

Feel It

When you encounter loss or rejection, feel it fully, alone and without opinion. Accept that you were not chosen. You lost. You’ll go through scenarios of what you could’ve done better or what the situation should’ve been, and you’ll play it over and over again in your head. Regardless, you’ll come to accept that it is what it is. Do yourself a favor and trash your ego. Don’t fight it. You gave it your all, so hey, be proud of yourself. If you didn’t, you’ll know what to improve on next time.

Express It

When you feel as if you have had your alone time, begin your expression. Whether it’s through writing or self-talk, communicate how you truly feel. Questions and doubts will come along, but just know you’re on the right track since you’re not holding back. By being vulnerable and voicing your true feelings, you’ll receive guidance and direction. This guidance can come from an external force, an individual, or even just a personal realization.

Close It

Based on how you feel, figure out the best way to gain closure and clarity by coming to terms with the situation. That could be journaling, having a conversation, or just truly being okay with the outcome of the situation. Whatever you decide, just make sure you do what works for you with full transparency and don’t compromise your peace of mind.

Choose It

At this point, you’ve emotionally exhausted your resources. You have a clear understanding of the outcome, and now you’re on your road to recovery. Make the conscious choice of abiding by what you accepted, expressed and came to terms with. Commit to this and choose to move forward, never back. Be blatantly clear with your choice, because life punishes the vague wish and rewards the specific request.

Trust It

Trust and know that you’re being guided to exactly what’s best for you. Once you fully believe this concept, you have faith that the situations you’re put in are pushing you to your true purpose. You won’t exactly see it in the moment, but you’ll look back and know exactly why it happened. When it happens, you’ll realize that you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Get uncomfortable, take risks, and don’t play it safe. The more you follow your muse, I guarantee the more setbacks will show up in your journey; however, these adversities will in turn feel exhilarating and humbling. You’re putting your whole self on the line and coming out stronger than you ever imagined. You’re betting on nothing but yourself because you believe you’re destined to be whatever you choose to be. You may not see the light as clearly as you’d like, but you’re taking your shot and there are no “what if’s” floating in the air. Believe me, once you master the art of rejection, you’ll oddly crave it.