How You Will Leave The Perfect Man


He, for all intents and purposes, he is ‘perfect.’ He is handsome in a conventional way, he played a college sport, and now runs a very successful family business. He keeps quiet at appropriate times, he is witty and smart, and he can work a room if necessary. He has a supportive family, and a nice group of friends and business partners. He is composed and rational. He cooks and cleans. He supported you one hundred percent in your quest to be a perfect cross between Jackie O. and Beyonce. He loved that you had your own opinions, and stood behind you, even when you were wrong. Most importantly, he was there and he loved you for years.

And one morning, you will wake up to him bringing you coffee in bed and realize this is not what you want. You will realize that perfection is so…bland. But you will keep it in. You will make an epic attempt to convince yourself that you are wrong, and his perfection is right. You will Google the shit out of some self-help articles, but you will not feel better. One night, you will drive to his house and give yourself a pep talk in the rear-view. You will do it.

He will be devastated, because he never saw it coming. Because in his mind, you were both perfect together. His family will despise you and will probably never forgive you. Accept that, but don’t react to their negativity with hate. His mom will drunkenly find you once in public and call you a whore, and you fight back the simultaneous urge to cry or punch her. But worse, is that everyone you know will treat you like you are a little bit crazy. Your parents, co-workers, and closest friends will say they don’t understand; he was so good. They all believe you’ll change your mind in six months. He never cheated, never lied, never misspoke. He was a catch.

But what they will not understand is that he remains a catch, so you had to cast him back to sea. It was unfair to keep him tethered safely in your net, when all you really want is someone with a few more beautiful imperfections. It will be hard and you will be lonely. You will see him for three minutes in public and cry for three hours later into a heaping bowl of mint-chocolate chip. And you will re-think your decision maybe 1,402 times. Embrace that. It is the part where you learn, and grow. Stand by your decision, because you were unhappy.

Someday, you will find someone else. From the very first minute you ever see him, something within you will change.

He won’t be so perfect on paper. He has a scar on his chin from the time he got too drunk on Halloween and his past relationship history is comical at best. He won’t always say the right thing, he will challenge you, and sometimes he will dress like his closest hasn’t been renovated since 1997. You will have disagreements that turn into full blown fights. You must resist the urge to try to change him (you would never succeed anyway.)

Because if you embrace his imperfections, and he yours, you will learn from each other everyday, and finally understand that love is never perfect, it is found in the glitches and blemishes of another. You will want to be a better human because of him. And one morning, you will wake up and look at his ridiculously unkempt hair as he spoons the dog in his sleep. And you will realize that he is far from perfect, but he is home. And that was really all you wanted all along.