I Am Slowly Learning To Push Myself Forward Instead Of Running In Place

I am slowly learning to leave my comfort zone even though new situations might set off my anxiety, raise my stress levels, and cause me to question bite size pieces of my own reality.

I am slowly learning to keep reaching forward. Once I complete one of my moment-of-pride milestones, I allow myself a few weeks to breathe in the success, to bask in my spiritual riches, and then I start working toward new milestones.

I am never satisfied — and that is a good thing. That is one of the rare qualities I actually value about myself. Some people might consider my unquenchable thirst for betterment greedy, but I see through a different set of eyes. I consider myself hardworking. Dedicated. Passionate. Restless.

I am slowly learning nothing is ever going to be good enough for me and that is okay. That is going to lead me toward greatness. I am never satisfied with myself, but that does not mean my days are spent moping about my losses without counting my gains. My days are spent in a more productive way. They are spent actively, chasing dreams and demolishing doubts (most of which come from my own mind).

My dissatisfaction motivates me. It pushes me to pile up as many hours of work as possible. It thrusts me toward a better future. I am a superior version of myself than the me who walked this earth a year ago and I am putting down the blueprints to help the future me beat my current record.

I am slowly learning to push myself forward instead of running in place. I can be appreciative of everything I have earned thus far — but I cannot allow myself to grow overly comfortable in my current situation because comfort is not conducive to growth. I am allowed to take breaks from time to time. I am allowed to treat my mental health. But I cannot let lazy become a personality trait. I cannot let my resting period extend months, years, decades. I cannot take a never-ending hiatus.

I am slowly learning to disconnect my career aspirations from my personal relationships. One area of my life does not have a chainlink to the other. Just because I am going through a breakup or suffering from a family tragedy does not mean my work has to suffer in the long-term. Failure in one spot does not have to trickle into the other. Even though it’s impossible to remain emotionless when my life topples off track, I cannot let an outside issue taint what means the most to me.

I am slowly learning to keep going even when my baggage threatens to sink me. I am learning to how to pick myself up again after internal knockouts. I am learning how to bandage my heart in a way that keeps it beating strong. I cannot let anything (or anyone) deter me from running in the direction of my dreams.

I am slowly learning to keep moving forward because the moment I stop flying toward my target is the moment I lose myself.