I Am Stuck In A Moment

I am stuck in a moment. I wanted the end to be easier. You were my hope for a love that got shattered apart. I wish I had the strength to say goodbye and just disappear. You missed the pain in my face when you walked away. I had to give you what you wanted and tell you that I was fine, even though I knew I was never going to get over you.

Moving on was an unbearable ache and time became my best friend. I am stuck in a moment with what could have been racing through my mind like bare feet on broken glass. I could never stop you from leaving me, just like you couldn’t stop me from loving you.

I think I will take a sick day, call my friends, stay in my pajamas, and drink coffee with some whiskey. Today feels hard, yesterday is gone, and tomorrow I will smile with a brave face hidden by a tiny bit of hope for a fresh start. Today I am stuck in a moment.

Someday I will open my heart again. Love never ends and time doesn’t matter. Someday I will jump with both feet in and drink wine with an inhibited taste and courage to be free. Next time I will be exactly who I am, and he will love me and all my broken pieces. Today is spinning too fast and I will gain comfort in my friendships because I am stuck in a moment.

When I think back on things that threw us off track, we didn’t see the potential. You were my safe haven, my strength for my limitations, and my courage to heal my past. You were never part of my plan. A chance encounter became a love I had never felt before and a new world opened up with the vulnerability you showed me.

I am stuck in a moment. You will never know how much you gave me. You will never know how valuable you were. Now, I hug a little tighter, I smile bigger, I listen more closely, and I love much deeper. Today I cherish my beauty and become empowered in my talents with confidence because you believed in me.

I am stuck in a moment. I feel alone but I know I must look inside for that light to guide me. Today I’m going to sit on my front porch and listen to the wind chimes play a melody. Oh, baby, I’m trying. I hear you in my dreams, I feel you whisper in my ear. Today life is hard, but I will keep you with me always in my heart.

I was lucky to be in love with you. I was lucky to have you as my best friend. I was lucky to lay in your arms and feel the irreplaceable bond we shared. I was lucky to share my heart with you and kiss you a thousand times. Thank you for bringing me flowers. Thank you for writing me good morning notes and telling me I was beautiful. Thank you for dancing with me in the kitchen and holding my hand on the swing. Thank you for laughing till my bladder would burst and looking into my hazel eyes and loving my true self.

I am stuck in a moment, but that moment was beautiful.