I Can’t Wait Until The Women Who Rejected Me Get Old And Come Crawling Back (So I Can Turn Them Down)


For years I have dreamed of this day. I’ve waited for so long to finally see women like you see the error of their ways. I waited patiently while you made time for those ‘bad boys,’ hoping that you would see the opportunity that I represented when they crushed your dreams, but you never did until now.

Like you, I have learned a lot from you and women like you. I learned something from every un-returned phone call. I learned something from every “I just want to be friends” speech. I learned something when you told me “I don’t want a relationship,” only to see you in a relationship with some ‘bad boy’ a month later. I was a prince to you, but it was never enough. You wanted the ‘bad boy.’ You got him. So be it.

What I learned was with every lie, with every lame excuse, with every outright rejection was to harden my heart just a little. One day, I realized that it had become easier to disregard your texts. It was easy to make excuses. It was easy to show up when I felt like it. Now, I no longer wait around on women like you. If you’re not interested, that’s fine. I’ll find someone who is. I wasn’t born this way – I am the monster of your own creation.

Now you say you’re ready for a Nice Guy. Your looks are starting to fade and those jerks left you with one or two kids who need a dad. You say that you’ve learned your lesson. Well, learn this: You had your chance.

You see, I took the lessons you taught me and became a jerk myself. To be brutally honest, women who are younger and more attractive – like you once were – now provide me with endless entertainment. I use them for sex until I am bored with them then I move on to the next one.

I owe you a debt of gratitude, however. If not for you, I might not only still be a Nice Guy, but I might still be dumb enough to settle for someone like you. Because of you I know my worth. I know to not open my heart to anyone until she proves her worth. Deep down inside, I am still a Nice Guy, but only for those who deserve it.

But please don’t think that I hate you, because I don’t. In fact, I pity you. I pity you because I know what you could have had, what you settled for and what you will end up with. That is, however, not my problem anymore.