I Don’t Know About You, But I Miss Receiving Phone Calls

I think I was born in the wrong decade because I miss receiving letters in the mail. Unfortunately my hopes and dreams were crushed the day I left summer camp. The day I received my last letter from my parents.

Letters have now been replaced with phone calls, which I guess is fine…if you actually use them. And I’m not talking about using them excessively in a drunken rant calling your last hook up six times at 2 AM while simultaneously trying to catch the cheese as it slides off your slice of pizza. I’m talking about a real phone call, one where you’re on a walk home from class and you pull out your phone to fake text people so you don’t look like a loser, but then you actually decide to call that one specific person. 

Nothing can ever replace the feeling of receiving a phone call. The caller anxiously listens to the dial tone waiting for you to pick up, while you anxiously look at the name of the person hesitating answering. The name of the person calling you pops in huge white block letters and all you have to do is simply slide your pointer finger to the right. You haven’t a clue as to what he/she is going to say and that’s what makes it so exciting. You anticipate the conversation. 

In opposition, a text message immediately pops up on your screen with the exact characters giving away the wait. More than likely, it is something related to “hey.”

Hey’s sisters include: “Hi, Hi what’s up, Hii, Hiii, Hiii.”

Hey’s brothers include: “Heyy, Hey what’s up”

But what is that all about? I’m not a fucking horse. Note to future husband: please don’t ever “hey” me. Call me.

You can plan what you are going to say, but half of the words you plan to say don’t end up coming out. You can’t perfect a phone conversation, and that is what makes it so special.

You can’t calculate the right amount of words to say.  You just speak. 
You don’t have to worry about the right amount of lines to send. You don’t have to fake a “lol.” It’ll come naturally.

You can hear the person’s voice. You can hear their tone. You can hear the hiccup. You can hear the cry. You can hear their pig-like laugh. 

Aside from video chatting, it’s like you are right there with them. And the biggest compliment is that the person took the time to call you. You were the only one they wanted to talk to in that moment.

You don’t have to worry about making an excuse for “oh well that wasn’t really a text to respond to.” When you “lol” while on the phone, the person on the other end isn’t going to just hang up because they didn’t have anything to say back, unless he or she is a complete asshole.

You can text a bunch of people at the same time, but you can’t talk to two people on the phone simultaneously…unless it’s a mutual three-way. If that’s the case, you do you.