I Don’t Want To Feel So Lonely

As the sun sets, I start to follow my shadow on the pavement,
Everything is quiet for a minute and then the noise hits my ear,
A sparkling December has passed,
and an upcoming lonely February fills me with fear.

I feel like I have been screaming with my lips closed,
No, I don’t want to hear about your problems at home anymore,
It’s not that no one understands you,
it’s you failing to understand everyone else,
Being different is not a crime,
Even if it were, you wouldn’t be the one to be blamed.

All these problems don’t exist,
you made them up in your head,
to make yourself miserable to feel something else
other than the echoing emptiness.

The world spins, so why do I feel dizzy?
I can see the night incoming to swallow me,
Far off the place I used to call my home,
Never I would go back, I swore,
everything I do makes me feel even more alone.
Every bed feels the same,
every boy and girl I see on the street has the same name,
Your name,
Of course your name.

No, it’s not one of those silly games,
It’s real, it’s in my head, it’s in my brain,
You have managed to sneak into my being,
I cannot remove you from my mind.

Believe me, I’ve tried and tried,
Now I’m so tired.

So just come and find me when I hide,
I hate to make you do all this hard work just so I can finally smile,
I wish I was simple and true,
more golden than blue,
Match every single dress to your eyes,
No, I’m not that wise, not that clever at disguise,
I’ve never been able to hide from you,
I hope this never changes as years go by.