I Don’t Want To Get Lost In Love, I’d Rather Be Found

I never understood why some people relish the thought of getting lost over another person.

I’ve heard, I’ve read it all before. I got lost in his eyes or I lost myself in her smile or in whichever random body part evokes such emotions. I don’t believe anyone in their right mind would willingly embrace the feeling of being lost. I’ve been there before, in fact, I still feel lost most days, and it’s definitely not anywhere near on my list of things I enjoy.

Have you ever been lost before? Imagine being a 6-year old little kid in a crowded theme park. One hand grasping a ball of cotton candy as big as your hand and the other holding tightly to your mother or father’s hand. Imagine in the crush of people surrounding you, you felt your hand slip from your parents’ grasp. Imagine the mind-numbing fear of not knowing where you are or where you ought to go. Imagine flailing around helplessly hoping to catch a glimpse of your father’s jacket or your mother’s dress… any sign to lead you back into the safety of their presence.

Being lost, in my mind, connotes the idea of wandering aimlessly in search for that elusive ‘something.’ A constant search for a safe harbor, an anchor to keep us steady in the churning waves of a storm. The rope that keeps you berthed when the winds and the waves threaten to take you out to sea like an unmoored buoy floating in an endless dance with the surging waters.

You can be lost in the sea of your life with no idea what the next day would bring or where your footsteps will take you. You can be lost in the forest of your mind, looking for the missing pieces, the pieces that make you who you are. It’s an arduous journey, being lost. It can be timeless and transient at the same time. So, no. I don’t get why people like the feeling of getting lost in someone else.

When I find my great love, I’d rather choose to be found. I’d rather find myself in another’s eyes.

To find myself in another’s smile or any other freaking body part for that matter. To find myself moored to the warmth and safety of the soul mate all these romances have been musing about since time immemorial. To banish the fear of being lost again, in knowing that I’ve found where I’m meant to be.