I Fought For You

I double texted you when you ignored my messages. 

I rearranged my plans in order to see you when you told me you were too busy to hang out on my schedule.

I cheered you up whenever you were in a bad mood, even if you were being snippy with me because of it.

Whenever you were annoyed with me, I tried to see the situation from your point of view.

Whenever we had an argument, I found a way to forgive you even when you weren’t deserving of that forgiveness.

Whenever you screwed up, I gave you another chance.

I fought for you. 

At the time, I thought that was a good thing. I thought I was being romantic by sacrificing everything for you. I thought it proved how strong my feelings for you were.

I never realized how unhealthy it was for me to be the only one fighting.

Whenever I went a few days without answering your texts, you never sent a second one to check in on me. You let our conversation die. You never wondered where I had been or what I had been doing. You were perfectly fine waiting to hear back from me.

Whenever I was too busy to make plans with you, you shrugged and said that we would just have to wait to see each other. You never volunteered to take a day off from work or invite me out with your friends so we would have time to hang out. The most you would do was claim you missed me.

Whenever I was in a bad mood, you acted like I was being a complete bitch. You took offense instead of asking me what was bothering me and trying to figure out a way to calm me down. You considered my problems my problems. You never tried to help.

Whenever I was annoyed with you, you never even bothered to say you were sorry (unless you were saying it sarcastically). You acted like you had done nothing wrong. You never took responsibility for hurting me. Not once. 

Whenever we had arguments, you never reached out to reconcile with me. I was always the one who had to make the repairs. You never cared enough to do it yourself.

Whenever I screwed up, you cursed me out. You blocked me. You stopped talking to me. You threw up your hands and said you had enough.

You never fought for me. You barely put in any effort. I was the only one working to keep our ‘relationship’ strong. You never lifted a finger.

I hate how hard I tried to make you like me. It was pointless to fight for someone who didn’t want me to fight. It didn’t make a difference to you whether I was blowing up your phone or blocked from your phone.

Fighting for you was a mistake. I should have given up the battle a long time ago. Then maybe I wouldn’t be this heartbroken.