I Hate The Way I Love You

I hate the way I love you.

I hate the way I hurt you. That you shed tears for me. I hate that I know just how to make you smile in the midst of the tears. I hate the way my love for you is like a switch that I flip from time to time.

I hate your patience. I hate the way you are too understanding when it comes to me. I hate that you give me second chances more than I deserve, so much that the phrase loses meaning.

I hate it when you declare your love to me. When you turn to us for answers when everything is so clear. I hate that you still count on me.

I hate that life gave me you only for me to break you. That my love takes all that you have but you still find strength to hold on, to stay. I hate the fact that you won’t give me up even though you have all the reasons in the world to. I hate that you won’t go, that you won’t find a love that you truly deserve.

I hate that you love me. That you are too good for me, yet you stay.

I hate that you get to take the blame every time. That you take the fall even though you don’t deserve to.

I hate that your eyes don’t lie. I hate that your eyes confess of the pain I cause you. That your eyes tell the tales of our love. That your eyes beg, they say all the things you don’t. I hate that through your eyes, I see the love you still have for me.

I hate that you save me from the world and most importantly, from myself. I hate that you help me find all the pieces that I’ve lost over time, only to go back to where I was. I hate that you care this much.

I hate that my world has tamed you in such ways I can’t say. That the ways of my heart got lost somewhere in the dark and I dragged you into the abyss with me.

I hate that I don’t try. I hate that my pain and anger made me into this. That it made me incapable of loving. I hate that I can’t fight it for you, for us. I hate that I found someone like you, a love so kind and a heart so pure and beautiful, at the worst possible time.

I hate that I still have a second chance at our love.

This time, let me make everything okay.