I Hope You Think Of Me

When you’re homesick, I hope you think of me. At 4 in the morning, when you’re lonely, and feel like the whole world is against you, I hope you think of me. When you’re down and out and sleeping on the floor; On the days when you don’t want to be alive anymore. When you wish you had someone to read the latest song lyrics that you wrote or listen to you recite them over the phone. When you feel like nobody understands, or even cares to, I hope you think of me.

When you see someone with bright red hair, and eyes lined darker than rock bottom, I hope you think of me. When Eminem plays on the radio, or an Andrea Gibson quote crosses your newsfeed. When an old episode of Supernatural finds its way to your TV screen. When the Universe surprises you with bathroom stall poetry. When a stranger walks past, wearing a Doctor Who or The Walking Dead T-shirt, I hope you think of me.

When the sun sets, casting crimson and gold spells on the sky with its departure, I hope you think of me. I hope it reminds you of the flames that consumed the bridge of our friendship that we spent the better part of ten years building. I hope it reminds you of the match you handed me, as you doused yourself in gasoline. I don’t know about you, but I can still feel the heat. I guess there was always a warmth between us, and we underestimated its potential to burn. I suppose now, we have matching scars: Souvenirs of lessons learned.

I hope you wish you had fought harder, or at least given me a reason to stay. I hope you realize how much I cared about you, and what you threw away. I hope you find what you’re looking for. And when you finally get there, I hope you think of me.

I just really don’t want to think about you anymore.