I Slept With A Guy For Two Years Hoping He’d Commit, And This Is Where It Got Me


I slept with a guy from two years hoping that eventually he would commit to me and guess where it got me?


I dated a guy casually for a whole dreadful year, because he wasn’t ready for anything serious just yet and guess where that got me?


These are the results of what I call the ‘80 percent’ relationship that our generation knows all too well.

Lets face it, if someone really loves you, if they really want to be with you, they will be. It’s that simple. It’s not easy to accept this when you love someone – you are blinded by optimism, how could you not be? Trust me when I say, I am not immune to the delusions that come with someone giving you 80 percent of their heart.

80 percent is a game people play with strategy. They do this when the relationship is too good to give up on but not good enough to satisfy them entirely. The receiver of the 80 percent will most likely begin to debate ending it, solely from the exhaustion that comes with constantly debating whether someone’s actually into you or not. But like a never ending cycle, you both hold on, because it’s too good to give up yet too little to satisfy and you hope for that 20 percent to kick in, as if you’re both in a car, racing to a finish line. But guess what? It’s never going to ‘kick in’ and that 20 percent has always been there my dear. They just didn’t want to give you anything but that 80 percent.

Loving someone with half of your heart is cruel, yet, I’ve done it. I’ve been the one giving only 80 percent as many times as I’ve been the one receiving 80 percent. From first hand experience, both ways hurt – a lot. There’s a very obvious reason why we all do it. We’re all afraid to be alone, so we hold onto relationships we secretly know aren’t right. Regardless of what side of the 80 percent relationship you’re on, by staying in it, you’re settling.

After enduring the pain of ending yet another 80 percent relationship, I made a promise to myself that I would never ever again love someone with half my heart. Never anything but 100 from this day on – and if you know what’s best for you, you should make this promise too, because you know where loving someone with only 80 percent of your heart gets you?


For more raw, powerful writing follow Heart Catalog here.