I Still Miss You, But Our Timing Was Wrong


Since the day I left you I never stop blaming myself how coward I am not to accept you in my life again. I thought the “I need to be alone, I need to find myself” is one of the lamest reason for breaking up, I thought it’s an unreasonable reason that someone will use just to get out of the relationship, but it’s not until I experienced it, Until I woke up one day and I felt that I need to be alone that I need to find myself. From that moment I thought that I’m the dumbest person on earth. I never thought in my whole life that I will be this girl that is so in love one day and the next day I’m just as cold as ice and the next thing I know I want to get out of the relationship.

We’ve been together for three years, we had our good and bad times but I will never regret meeting you. You’ve been my sunshine on my darkest days, you’ve been the hand that I always needed, you’ve been the fan that always supports and cheers me, you’ve been my best friend and my lover who treats me as a queen and see me as a precious jewel everyday. We had an almost perfect relationship spending my three years of my life with you is one of the right decision I made in my life, Having you is like having someone who gives peace and contentment. Waking up knowing I have you is an enough motivation that keeps me going in my life.

I never really thought that we will come to an end, I always do believe that you are the guy that will fulfill my fairytale dreams but I was wrong. I spend so much time thinking that you’ll be the one that I didn’t notice the red flags. I was so in love and determine to build my fairytale that I didn’t even consider If I’m really happy with it. That I spent so much time being the perfect girlfriend that I didn’t notice that I was changing myself, that I was sacrificing who I am in order to gain a perfect relationship. But I’m not blaming you for all of this you were a perfect guy, a perfect form of a prince charming but not my prince charming.

So I’m writing this to remind you that you’re a perfect person that you deserve to be happy. I’m sorry for making you feel that you are not enough, you’re more than enough but I’m just not the person anymore who can see it. I still love you and I don’t know when will I stop loving you but I don’t deserve your love anymore.There are still times that I regret leaving you , there are still times that I want to run back to your arms but I know it’s too late anymore and this is what I want, this is what I asked for. I’m still finding myself and I know I’m getting somewhere, maybe someday when the time and circumstances is right you could still be my prince charming again.