I Wish I Never Followed You On Social Media

It’s the natural progression in the unfolding of every friendship/relationship. You meet a person and you just click, then someone adds the other on social media and whether you’re stalking each other or not, you know a lot more about this person from their profile than what they told you and sometimes you know what you wish you didn’t.

Because just one look at someone’s profile can raise a thousand questions. Questions that didn’t even cross your mind and questions that you might not like the answers to.

And then you keep thinking if they’re asking the same questions too, if they’re wondering about that picture or that post or that comment.

You start to post more or post less depending on your personality and with every time you post, you wonder if that person will like it and if they don’t, you get slightly disappointed.

Then one time it pops up on your news feed — that person liked or left a comment on a picture of someone attractive and you start wondering if there is something more you don’t know or maybe they’re more than just friends and you start doubting yourself because you didn’t get a similar comment.

It becomes a game nobody is winning and it becomes a ghost haunting you every time you see that person, because now you know more, now you saw more, now you have more questions and now you secretly doubt this person.

Every time it becomes harder to act like you didn’t see anything that bothered you and each time it becomes harder to ignore it.

So you keep your guard up, you start to act distant, you begin to pull away because you’re not sure who you’re talking to anymore and you fall back and wait….wait for reassurance, wait for more effort, wait for less questionable social media activity and wait for your gut to somehow trust this person again.

Because these days you never know if social media is reality or is reality, reality? You never know if the person is who they appear to be on Instagram or the one you had the most wonderful time with at the coffee shop.

But you can’t unfollow them because unfollowing them means you’re mad, means you don’t care, means you’re upset and it’s offensive.

So you continue to follow them and the questions and the doubts continue to haunt you at night and even when they like something you post, you don’t smile anymore because you don’t feel special — now you know you’re not the only one.

You wish you could unlearn some of the things you discovered but you know that one way or another social media is a reflection of reality, it’s a reflection of how this person wants the world to see them and it’s a reflection of how this person wants you to see them.

I wish I never followed you on social media, I might have still liked you.