I Wish I Was Your Secret


Hold your phone up a little higher so your friends can’t see your screen. Tell them that the reason you’re smiling at your phone is because you just read something funny. Not because I just texted you. Wait until no one is around before you reply to my message.

I want to be your secret; I want to be your guilty pleasure.

You and your friends both know that we shouldn’t be in contact with each other. But nothing is that bad for you in moderation. I can be your glass of wine on a Wednesday night, or your chocolate candy that’s hidden away in the drawer.

Come sneak away to my house on Friday nights. Tell your friends that you’re staying in to do homework even though homework is the last thing we will do. Tell your friends that you’ll go out tomorrow because the weather will be better. No one has to know you’re here; no one has to know we’ve been hanging out again.

But take him and not me to the concert at your school. Take him and not me to the get-togethers with your friends. Because you taking me, that would be way too high key and we need to keep it low key. You need to keep me your secret.

Let me be your back up, let me be your plan B. You don’t need to stress if he doesn’t reply to you because I know I will. You know I can make up for all the things he doesn’t do, or things you wish he did. Let me be your reassurance, let me be your de-stressor. I want to be your secret.

Tell me the things you can’t really tell anyone else. Tell me the things that trouble you, or the things that worry you. Tell me the things you wouldn’t tell him because you’re afraid it would make him question you. You can entrust me with getting to know the real you. You can charge me with the task of understanding you.

And if I start to crave more than I should, remind me of our arrangement.

Remind me that I’m not supposed to be telling my friends about you. Remind me that we must keep this quiet or else things will start to get out of hand.

Remind me that I am your secret.

We could be the best of friends and have no one know. We could accidentally share kisses and have no one know. We could shroud ourselves in secrecy and create an environment where no pressure exists. An environment where we can go at our own pace and no one will ever know about it.

I don’t mind if you keep me tucked away in your lock box. I can pretend if you can pretend. We don’t have to wake up missing each other. Let him be the one that meets your family.

I just want to be your secret.