I Wonder What You Would Tell Me If You Were Here

I wonder what you would tell me if you were here. Would you be proud of everything I’ve accomplished over these past few years? Would you surprise me with champagne bottles and balloons to celebrate? Would you be my biggest cheerleader, the person who encourages me to keep going because there’s so much potential hidden within me? Would you guide me toward my biggest dreams?

I wonder what you would tell me if you were here. Would you be talking me off of ledges at two o’clock in the morning when my doubts are getting the best of me? Would you wrap your arms around me, squeeze me tight, and dry my tears? Would you give me pep talks that replay on a loop in my head because you were always so much wiser than me? Would you talk me out of doing the stupid, impulsive things that are so hard for me to resist?

I wonder what you would tell me if you were here. Would you be cracking jokes? Would you be causing smiles? Would you be giving me more and more reasons to get excited about getting up in the morning, to look forward to the future ahead of me? Would you be the bright spot in every week? Would you keep me sane, stop me from jumping off the edge?

I wonder what you would tell me if you were here. Would you be blunt with me about the things I’ve been doing wrong? Would you call me out on my mistakes without letting me off the hook, without looking in the other direction? Would you try to talk sense into me in the hopes I would change my world for the better? Would you be brutally honest with me because you care too much to let me fall down the wrong path?

I wonder what you would tell me if you were here. Would you want to hear every little detail from my life? Would you be interested in the small things as well as the big things? Would you remind me it’s okay to feel, okay to cry, and okay to open up to you about absolutely anything? Would you give me a place where I felt comfortable, a place that felt home more than any building ever could?

I wonder what you would tell me if you were here. Would you encourage me to stop beating myself up so much? Would you wish that I did a better job of learning to love myself? Would you push me to take better care of myself, to think more of myself, to recognize my strengths more? Would you want me to treat myself more gently?

I wonder what you would tell me if you were here. Would you tell me my best actually is good enough? Would you tell me so much more happiness is waiting for me right around the corner? Would you tell me everything is going to be okay in the end, even without you here?