I Wouldn’t Date A “Social Justice” Guy


You know who I am talking about. Every week it’s some new buzz issue that they are arguing with people about on Facebook and Twitter. It’s immature and really off-putting, though these guys are supposed to be “sensitive” or morally attractive in some abstract sense that never quite reconciles with their actual personality.

If you put a bottle in the trash instead of back in your purse until you find a recycling container they look at you like you’ve just murdered their childhood puppy.

That’s what I don’t understand about these people. There is a hierarchy of emotions, reactions and wrong-doings. I didn’t actually murder your puppy. I did a lazy thing that people do all the time that has a very insignificant consequence in and of itself. Sure you can extrapolate about what kind of person I am from this one exchange, go for it, I can tell you are going to do it anyway but in another five minutes someone will misuse a word and you’ll be on their back instead of mine.

I wouldn’t fuck a social justice guy because I can’t think of a bigger turn-off than someone who values ideas more than relationships. Ideas are not more important than people. They won’t keep you warm at night. The person you glare at for littering has actual human feelings, the dirty street does not, actually, who should be more important to you?

This judgement and shade thrown by social justice guys just seems so misanthropic to me, which is unsexiest thing I can imagine in any possible world. The thought cannot possibly escape your mind–if they are so judgmental and unforgiving in one area of their life–how will they not be judgmental and unforgiving when they are seeing your naked body?

There’s another factor where it just seems like people who are really into “social justice” don’t seem very fun. I have a lot of things I care passionately about, but at the end of the day my actions aren’t going to change the world. Act as if they will, sure, but don’t run around like Atlas with the world on your shoulders not enjoying life while you are living it. Sex isn’t fun with a kill-joy. It’s the opposite of fun, actually.

I think there’s a lot of good people who are going to make the world better, but I don’t think they identify with this social justice movement. They address problems in the real world, where they actually exist. They don’t need to do it on Facebook, in front of people so they get attention about being so knowledgeable or play off their anger by disparaging other people. They go into politics or business or someplace where you have to have actual people skills, but where change actually happens.

Confidence is sexy. Shaming other people is mutually exclusive with having confidence. The Venn diagrams do not overlap at all. Who cares if someone is less PC than you? That’s an opportunity to share your personal convictions. It’s important to note that this is the only way people will ever change their minds or adopt the behavior you want them to. Arguments don’t change someone’s mind, stories and kindness do.

So, not that fuckability is the end all be all of existence but it seems like guys will go to crazy lengths to get in a girls pants sometimes so I’m making my argument in this form: don’t be a dick if you want girls to want yours.

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image –Katie Blench