How To Go Balls-Deep On Your Own Life

Write and send one gratitude note.

Pick somebody who intimidates you a little – someone who you couldn’t say it to their face, even if you wanted to. Say, “I read this thing online about telling people when you’re thankful for them, and just wanted to say I am grateful for you.” Then explain why. Don’t be creepy about it: just tell the truth.

Drink enough water.

No but really. We need about three litres a day, and coffee doesn’t count. Trust me – once you start drinking enough water (and it is almost always more than you think you need) it’s like the clouds part and the sun shines down on your life… and your skin.

Spend one hour planning 5 outfits to wear next week.

Being cute and taking pride in your appearance is fun. Planning outfits in advance takes the stress out of getting ready every morning, and playing around with your look is an easy way to start pairing things you’ve never put together before to really make the most of the clothes you’ve got. Because trust me: you don’t need to go shopping.

Decide to make dinner from scratch.

Keep it simple, invite somebody over to eat with you, enjoy the satisfaction of knowing you made that badass meal with your own two hands.

Identify somebody in your field, at work, and ask to pick their brain.

Tell them you’ll take 30 minutes of their time, and you’re asking because you have some questions about how they got to do the job they’re doing, and need some advice on your next career move. N.B. This shouldn’t be the person you wrote a gratitude note to… that makes it seem like you were just buttering them up.

Decide how you want to feel.

Not what you want to do, but why you want to do it.

Masturbate.

Like, properly. Think sexy thoughts whilst you’re working at your computer all day, and when you get home look at yourself in the mirror. Take an oil bath, watch some of your favorite porn, and go really, really slowly.

Compliment a stranger.

This terrifies me, so I force myself to do it regularly. “Hey – nice shoes!” to the girl at the next mirror in the public restroom is all it takes. You’ll make her day.

Go out for coffee with no distractions – no phone, no book, no partner. Strike up conversation with the barista.

Look up and be present in the world for a hot second, is all I’m trying to say.

Sit down for ten minutes on a park bench. See what comes up.

Ten minutes is a surprisingly long time when you’re repressing how you really feel about that thing your friend said.

Post a selfie to social media, looking your finest.

Celebrate the courage that takes to say “I feel pretty today, so I am documenting that!” It doesn’t make you narcissistic. Promise.

Write a budget and figure out a way to set aside $50 per month until Christmas.

By the time December comes around you’ll have your gifts already paid for, and maybe even a little left over to buy your office a round of drinks.

Email your boss to ask for an appraisal.

Does a football manager only give feedback halfway through the season? No! That would make for terrible players! To get better, we need constant assessment, and yet so seldom is it given. Ask for it. Prove you want to be better.

Walk for an hour. Anywhere. Through town, through the country, just walk.

Or, even better: run.

Ask yourself: what’s the one thing you’d do if you weren’t afraid?

Once you’ve honestly answered this it will be so very hard not to do it.

Invite somebody out for dinner. Your treat.

It feels good to show somebody a good time just because.

Pamper yourself: do the whole shebang. Face mask, pedicure, candles. Shave your legs. Wear something silky to bed.

You deserve it.

Buy matching pajamas.

There will never come a morning where you do not wake up feeling “put together” because of your classy nightwear. Start your days off right.

Call your mother, and end the conversation with, “Hey – you’re my hero, you know that?”

She’ll appreciate that.