If He Tells You He Has ‘Commitment Issues,’ It Means He’s Just Not That Into You


He’s someone different, like a novelty, like a breath of fresh air, someone who intrigues you beyond belief.

The first encounter is great, your impression of him is outright positive, and you’re so stoked at the potential of having him in your life.

Right away you want to know more about him, to see how similar you both are, to see how “right” he might be. You look forward to every possible exchange you might have with him. You contemplate the amount of initiative you should take.

“Should I text him first?”

“What if he’s not interested?”

“What if he finds me annoying?”

“What if he’s already seeing someone?”

But you reach out anyway. And as you get to know more about him, you take your mental analysis to another level. You become eager to find out what he thinks about you, you get annoyed when he can’t seem to decipher your cryptic messages, you get paranoid when you wonder if you are just one out of many options.

And then one day, he casually tells you that he has commitment issues. As much as you would like to construe what exactly these “issues” are, as much as you would like to probe further, you know for a fact that it is probably time to walk away.

Somewhere deep down in your gut, you know that if he tells you he has commitment issues, he’s just not that into you.

The logical side of your brain functions well. You can comprehend that when a guy says that to you, it simply implies that you are not someone who could motivate him to commit. To give his time, to give an effort, or to try to make you his.

Sometimes you allow the illogical side to get the better of you. To think about your abilities to change him, to make him want to commit.

But you start getting weary and careworn about the whole thing. You enter another phase of mental analysis. To reevaluate yourself, to reevaluate him, and to reevaluate this, “you-don’t-quite-know-how-to-define-it” sort of connection that you have established with him. You start to realize that while he is someone different, he is also someone you don’t quite know how to handle.

“Should I just walk away?” you ask yourself repeatedly. Both your brain and your heart are antithetical with each other. But you know you should. If he tells you that he has commitment issues, chances are, you are one of the few options that he has, and he will never settle down for you. As much as you aren’t the “right” one for him, he probably isn’t the “right” one for you either.

Know your worth, know that someone out there will see the good in you, and will be willing to plunge right into it at any point of time. Know that when a guy is into you, no amount of considerations or barriers can stop him from professing his feelings. No amount of intrinsic influence can stop him from making you his. Know that when a guy is into you, you just know it.