If I Had A Horse


  1. If I had a horse, I would not give it a name. Instead, I would just call the horse “Horse,” for horse alone seems like a noble enough name for a stead.
  2. Horse and I would wander the pasture, the prairie.
  3. As I rode atop Horse, wind would ruffle my hair. Wind would likewise ruffle his mane.
  4. My skin would turn a deep tan, my muscles would turn taut and ropy, from being out in the wilderness, from the constant hours of riding.
  5. Children would call to us as we rode down the trail. I would tip my hat to them.
  6. Horse and I would not hunt the foxes, for the foxes are persecuted enough.
  7. In time, the foxes would come to understand that we were their friends. Several foxes and kits would trail behind us as we rode. I would toss them scraps of meat.
  8. We would bring back the Pony Express, for the Pony Express is the most noble manner of parcel and postage delivery that I know of.
  9. Granted, our Pony Express services would be a bit limited, what with only having one horse and all. We would extend it only in a ten block radius around our neighborhood.
  10. Still, people would be pleased. The Pony Express! “I got a letter via Pony Express!” the housewives would say, extending the letter in the air, in the sunlight.
  11. I just called my girlfriend and asked her what she would do if she had a horse. She said, and I quote, “What kind of a question is that?” I need a new girlfriend. When I have a horse, the horse and I will leave her in our wake. We will wander the trails alone.
  12. There will be tumbleweeds.
  13. Rattlesnakes.
  14. Water moccasins.
  15. There will be boleros, whatever a bolero is.
  16. Probably there will be Native Americans, if any Native Americans are left.
  17. Each morning, upon rising, I will be so excited to remember that I own a horse that I will jump out of bed!
  18. “Where shall we go today?” I will whisper to the horse as I saddle him. “What looks good to you?” I will whisper this into his mane.
  19. The horse will nicker back in response.
  20. I shall brush and otherwise tend to the horse’s needs.
  21. I will brand the horse with my personal brand. This will be painful, and he will briefly resent me for it, but the horse will come to understand the need. For I will brand myself with the same brand as well. To show that we belong to one another.
  22. We will race, sometimes against other horses, sometimes just against the wind.
  23. Of course, I do not yet own a horse; also I live in a dense urban area.
  24. Still, it is something to think about.
  25. Something to think about, as I stare out the window at night, staring at the tightly packed city lights.
  26. Then, I go to bed and I dream.
  27. At night I dream of trails.