If They Must Wander, Set Them Free


“So when people leave, I’ve learned the secret: let them. Because, most of the time, they have to.
Let them walk away and go places. Let them have adventures in the wild without you. Let them travel the world and explore life beyond a horizon that you exist in. And know, deep down, that heroes aren’t qualified by their capacity to stay but by their decision to return.”

— The Staying Principle (Everyday Isa)

For those that must leave, let them.

Let them explore the world around them, let them have the experience of their life, let them see what’s beyond their surroundings, free them and give them the assurance that it’s okay, it’s going to be fine without them –because in reality, it will.

You don’t have to cage them or beg them to stay with you forever, it won’t work, trust me. The more that you try to change their minds, the more they will be triggered to go.

So if they ask for freedom, give it to them. If that’s the least you can do to make them happy, why should you deprive it? Let them grow, make their own mistakes, stand in their own two feet, make a decision without someone else’s opinion, and have a taste of their own triumph and defeat. If they choose to walk the other road without you and with someone new, go ahead and let them, it’s their choice anyway.

They will travel far away and even get lost along the road, but don’t be scared, someday they will find their way back. It will take long for them to find what they’re searching for —their identity, their wants, their needs, their selves, but then again, just let them be; they’ll be alright, I assure you.

It’s a big world out there and everything’s fleeting. Let them wander, let them seek, let them discover, and set them free.

It’s not your fault that they have to leave, it’s them, and it’s something within them. Don’t ever blame yourself for what they’ve done. You’re not a mistake and you didn’t fail to meet their needs, it’s just that shit happens and you don’t have control over it. You have no power to make someone stay or make them choose you, outside of your orbit is out of your hands as well –it’s only your life that you can manage and not someone else’s.

In turn, you’re not just doing them a favor, you’re doing yourself as well. Now that they’re gone, you can have the time to think and consider your side. It’s not about them anymore, it’s about you. It’s what you will be after their absence, how you’ll handle your life and how you will want it to be. You’re no longer confined into someone’s circle, you are you and they are they, that’s a good conclusion.

If one day they come back and there’s a slight probability of starting over again, maybe you can give it a try. Second chances are always free, just so you know. But if they come back and it’s too late for them, it’s not your burden to carry. So set them free.