If You Cared About Me Even A Little, You Would Get The Fuck Out Of My Life

Get the fuck away from me.

I’m tired of playing nice with you. I’m sick of putting on a smile we both know is fake and making polite conversation with you.

I want you out of my life. For good. Forever. I don’t want you to walk through my door anymore. I don’t want your name to pop onto my phone. I don’t want to receive a card from you in the mail or hear your voice on my voicemail.

I don’t want anything to do with you, but I can’t come out and say that, because it would cause more drama. I don’t want to start another fight when things are already this bad between us. I’m tired of yelling. I’m sick of this pit inside my stomach.

I figured, if I took the high road and avoided cursing you out, you would eventually get the hint. I figured you would eventually leave without a fight, because that’s the right thing to do. But you are stubborn. You won’t budge. You won’t leave me alone, even though I am suffering every single day.

I wish you would realize how much you are impacting me and fucking leave. Go. Don’t come back. Don’t make apologies for your behavior. Don’t try to make it up to me.

The only way you can make it up to me is by leaving. By letting me live my life without you. Because life with you is painful. Stressful. It makes me insecure. Paranoid. I’m a fucking mess, and all of that would change if you walked out of my world. I would finally have the chance to feel comfortable, at peace.

I hate that you’re still here, and the wort part is that I can’t understand why you won’t leave. You claim it’s because you love me, but if you truly loved me, then you would do what is best for me. And you know the best thing for me would be leaving. Leaving and never reappearing in my life again. Never making me sit through a second of your bullshit again.

You’re staying for you. You’re doing the selfish thing yet again, which shouldn’t be surprising, because you only care about yourself. You don’t care who you hurt as long as you get what your warped brain wants.

You never cared about my happiness. You liked to pretend that you did, but deep down, I didn’t matter to you. If I did, then you would have changed. You would have worked on yourself.

Once upon a time, you were an important part of my world. I’m thankful for everything  you’ve done for me, but having history doesn’t bind us for life. I don’t owe you anything. I don’t have to keep you in my world and I don’t want to keep you in my world. I don’t want any of this. I just want the drama to be done. I just want you to leave me alone.

Please, if you care about me even a little, get the fuck out of my life, because I can’t stand another second around you.