If You Start To Miss Her, Stop Right There
By Erika Lee
if you start to miss her, stop right there.
if you think, “maybe I’ll just ask how she’s doing”
stop right there.
this girl,
eyes wide and heart on her sleeve.
you promised this girl you would never leave.
but she was too much of some things you didn’t like
not enough of what you wanted.
her love overflowed—
it left you to exhaustion.
her jealousy, unable to be controlled
feelings, spilling all over without caution.
she’s a wound you don’t want to re-open
don’t you see, she can’t be fixed
by the reason why she’s broken.
if you start to miss her, stop right there.
If you think, “maybe we could be friends again”
stop right there.
with boundary lines so fine,
everything will be too blurry and hard to define.
she’ll wait for your replies for way too long,
if they shorten, she’ll wonder if she did something wrong.
every flattering word you say “just to be nice”
will be overanalyzed as some poetic love device.
so if start to miss her,
if you think “I like her. not romantically, but just for who is she is”
stop right there.
because your simple appreciation
will be misguided as a hidden motivation.
she’ll think she has a chance
when in reality, you don’t even give her a second glance.
so if you start to miss her, stop right there.
don’t ask how she’s doing, don’t be her friend
we all know very well how this will end.
she wants so badly to let go
but you know she is bad at saying no.
she is trying to keep herself whole,
but she has no self-control.
she may be forgiving, tender and kind
but she is someone you left behind.
so if you start to miss her, stop right there and think
perhaps it was meant to fall apart
so she could finally have
a better start.