If You Still Haven’t Heard From That Guy You Went On A Date With, You Need To Read This.


When men disappear, it’s no accident. Here are nine brutal reasons why you never heard from him again:

1. He wasn’t that invested in you in the first place.

Sometimes, men will spend time with a woman with no real intention of ever having a long term relationship with her. In those cases, when your time is up, it’s up. The relationship was never going anywhere anyway, and you’re better off without him. Sometimes it’s not because of how you are, what you said or what you did. It’s just where his head is at — or is NOT at, more importantly.

2. You hinted that you’re a baby ticking time bomb.

Any sniff of this in the “get to know you” stages, and you’re out. Men usually take a bit longer than you emotionally invest themselves, and if you lay all that baby stuff on them too soon you can fall into the mistake of putting too much pressure on the relationship. It’ll freak him out. When a man decides to go out with you it’s because he’s thinking about how you will make his life better and more fun initially. A baby-obsessed woman can scare the even most loyal man away.

3. You mentioned that you want to get married — soon.

This is a bit like the baby ticking time bomb and just as lethal. If a man hears about what sort of flowers you want at your wedding day or who might get an invitation before he’s emotionally invested, he’ll run for cover. Avoid this one like the plague, and save the wedding conversations for a later date because if he’s a commitment-phobe, this is sure to get rid of him.

4. You acted like one of the guys.

Men love women because of what women can offer that a man does not possess himself. Women who play games, act like they don’t need him or have the “I can do it myself” mentally can come across masculine in their behavior. Acting this way is unattractive to men and will plummet his attraction to you to below zero.

5. You emasculated him.

Men want a woman who makes him feel good about himself. He wants a woman who brings out the best version of him. If you do the opposite, then you’re heading in the wrong direction. Men like to feel like the man in the relationship. They need to feel needed. They need to feel wanted and desired by you. So pay attention to how you treat or act around him. Is your attitude and behavior making him feel good? Men like to do nice things for you, so let him, even if you feel like you could do it all by yourself. It’s food for the soul to a man when he can provide, protect and take care of you.

6. You did all the work.

Men aren’t attracted to a woman who asks him out, calls him, texts him and then dictates the terms of the relationship to make sure he won’t run away. He’ll tolerate it, but he probably isn’t as invested in the outcome as you are.

7. You were too much like hard work.

Being hard and independent can sometimes be a turn off to men. How can he fit in when you’re always too busy and too hard to accept love, kindness and adoration? If you feel your hard side is letting you down, maybe it’s time to lighten up and let him in.

8. He had his own issues.

Understand that sometimes men disappear because of their own stuff. Maybe he just out of a relationship with his ex and is getting back on his feet or love burned him in the past and he can’t face another relationship with anyone right now.

In his last relationship, maybe his wife or partner was controlling and now he just wants to enjoy his freedom. This is the most dangerous guy to lurk with as he can come across as the good guy with potential, but here’s the thing. He’s not in the right space to give you what you need, and you must let him go if he’s not stepping up as the boyfriend you need.

9. Your crazy chick side came out.

You’re confident until you get him, then all your insecurities and self-doubt come out to play. You get jealous, start fights or create a drama. You’ll do anything to sabotage that relationship, and the more you love him and the better he treats you, the worse it gets. Remember, this behavior is getting you nowhere. Keep the crazy chick at bay.

This post originally appeared at YourTango.