I’m Confused, Do You Like Me?

You couldn’t possibly have feelings for me. You never waited three days to call me, or told me that you would meet me for dinner, only to blow me off at the last possible second.

Our text exchange isn’t filled with empty promises, or just a string of one-sided messages where one tries to make concrete plans, always being met with the response, “I’m busy.”

You couldn’t possibly be into me because our conversation just flows naturally. I could tell you something trivial about my day over lunch, the way I can talk to a best friend, and you’ll put on a very convincing demeanor as if you are actually inhaling every sentence I’m struggling to make sound coherent.

You couldn’t possibly like me, because I haven’t cried into my pillow over you, or written a sad poem about how we never really got to know each other despite how much we lusted for one another.

I don’t think you like me, because you have made it abundantly clear how much you want to get to know me, and told me explicitly, on multiple occasions, that my mere smile brightens up your day.

You’re really confusing me, because I never met anyone who actually validates my feelings by allowing me to vent about absolutely anything, and then gives me sound and logical advice, despite how crazy, stupid, or foolish my problems may seem.

You planned a fun and adventurous date for us on a day that we’re both finally free from our tireless work schedules to get together, so that means I should make other plans for when those plans inevitably fall through… right?

You’re going to have to explain this to me, because I have been so confused as to what it means to actually like someone for so long, that I don’t know how to receive your kindness and your gentleness, and the way you talk about me and treat me as though I am an actual thoughtful person the way I always imagined I should be treated.

But that’s the catch isn’t it? Once I started getting ideas in my head that I should be treated with respect and dignity, someone in the universe sent you along just to confuse me, didn’t they? And now, here you are teaching me what it’s like to be important to someone all over again, allowing me to actually enjoy our time together instead of constantly feeling pressured to make you see something in myself that I have always seen. 

I think I understand now, that things don’t always have to be so difficult, and I can just let go and allow things to fall into place without forcing them to fit somewhere they don’t belong. I think I can finally trust that people will find you when you don’t expect them to, and tell you that life doesn’t have to be so confusing all the time.

I think I like you, because for the first time in a long time, I don’t need to make excuses for you, or try to spin facts to make you sound like a better person when describing you, because you just ARE a better person. You’re a better person than anyone I have ever known, and you have shown me that I’m a better person. A person who deserves to be liked, and a person who deserves someone like you.

So thank you, for making everything so much less confusing.