I’m Done Selling Myself Short To Find Love


I know I’m not alone in saying that I’ve proclaimed “I’m so done with so-and-so” so many times it’s lost its meaning.

What am I actually done with, you ask?

Treating men as if they’re the most exciting thing that can happen in my life.

This applies to everyone from my most recent Bumble match, the token workplace fuckboy or the boy that texts me at 2am hoping I’ll “come see his rooftop.”

I had a horrifying moment of self-reflection after I caught a majority of my conversations sounding like the following:

“How is your boyfriend? When are you guys getting married?!”

“When is your engagement party? I need to figure out who to bring as my date!”

“I started talking to this guy who works at Google on Bumble. Ugh, he’s so cute”

“Ugh, that guy who works at Google took so long to respond to my messages.” (i.e. he didn’t find me interesting enough to talk to everyday).

“I’m going to die alone in my studio with 7 cats.”

You know what, fuck trying to force a fantasy, when it’s just not there.

We are the generation that’s given so much power to the fuckboy. We commiserate about them to our friends, stain our shirts with tears over them and write countless blog posts about them.

Why don’t we take the power back? You know what I’ll have more time for now that I’m quitting bitching about fuckboys?

Take more dance classes, kick ass in grad school, finally learn how to cook and transform my studio in the Upper West Side into the happiest sanctuary I could ever imagine.

Because while we all deserve a wonderful love, we also deserve more than selling ourselves short for whatever boy is texting you on a given weeknight.

Truthfully, don’t you have more fun with your girlfriends, binge watching Bachelor in Paradise and eating chocolate chip cookies than going on another lukewarm date you’re convincing yourself “could be the one” so you’ll give chance?

Think you already know the answer.