I’m Painting My Feelings About You Away, Because On Paper Our Love Can Stay


On the eve of my birthday, I started painting feelings and memories we’ve shared. Not because I was being bitter but because I want to put all of these somewhere, someplace where it will never fade, and I have decided to put it all in paper.

You see, whenever I paint, I can see love. I can feel love. There’s only the two of us, there’ll be no reindeers I hate or your friend that loves to touch you whenever I’m not around. There will just be the sunset we’ve watched on our anniversary, the Ferris wheel we rode when I proposed to you, the coffee we had by the bayside, the ice skating rink you’ve always loved, the church we visit when I want to have a peace of mind. There are only the memories you’d somehow love to look back on, someday. Only if you still want to. From what I see, you’re not that hung up as much as I do.

I understand that you’ve grown so much; you’ve become better after letting go of me when your dreams started calling you. I know you’ve been happy with where you are now and the life you really love. I might be a bit late but I’m on my way there, too.

I just needed to put these feelings and memories that are weighing me down. I want to put it in a place that it will always be remembered, for it was worth remembering.

I do hope you still remember me sometimes and I hope those memories will never be forgotten. I’m hoping that someday, when you’ve reached all your dreams, when you are living the life you’ve wanted, I hope you look back and see me cheering at you, even after breaking my heart. I hope you look back and remember the love we’ve shared because I will always be waiting, but for now I need to work on myself too.

I could say that we had the right love at the wrong time. But even so, it’s something I’ll always treasure. I believe that even after years has passed; some part of me will still look for you.

You will always be remembered, just like how I remember all the bittersweet memories I painted in the paper, for it will always stay there, for it will never leave and in that paper, our love will continue forever.