I’m Single And No, I Don’t Need Your Pity


Believe it or not, I chose to be single.

I chose this life and even though you may never understand that, it doesn’t mean you should try to convert me to the other side – the relationship world.
Guess what? Being single is a sound decision that derived from both my heart and head. I’m not expecting you to make sense of that especially when you’re from this part of the town.
The single life has not been any less exciting than that of the committed life. I have just as much fun with my friends and myself as those with a significant other. While you may think I’m missing out, the truth is I’m living the life!

Society might scorn me for my decision especially at my age, but I wish I cared. It’s easy for you to feel entitled to give me advice about why I need to settle down – after all, you think that I will live a lonely life if I don’t start finding “the one” now. As women age, it’s harder to find a partner in comparison to men; that’s what one guy I once dated told me. I wish that it concerned me, but it left me unaffected. I wish that a lonely life is one of my fears, but it’s not. While I’m still a young adult, I know enough that there is more to life to concern myself over and loneliness is not one of them.

The words I lay out right now are not things that everyone can understand. Of all the opinions that I wish you would be able to digest is that alone is absolutely different than lonely; that every person who is single is not necessarily lonely; that people in relationships can find themselves lonelier than the unattached ones; that we don’t know as to when our life partner will enter our lives; that every time I tell you that I’m still single is not something that you have to feel bad about; that our decision to be in a relationship or not is an area which you do not have a say on.
Choosing the single life has been one of the most affirmative decisions that I have ever made and letting people know of my single status empowers me. At a time when people around me are plastering images of their exuberant smiles standing with their SO while wearing that extravagant bling on their ring finger, the decision to be single seemingly comes across as a protest – similar to that of a child who didn’t get their cake. If only I had the energy and time to tell you that it’s not an act and that my being single comes from a genuine place in my heart, but I don’t.

I also don’t have to convince you to believe me when I tell you that I’m incredibly happy being single.

I don’t need to change your belief whereby you are under the impression that singledom is a pity party.

I shouldn’t have to tell you that being single makes me feel alive.

I needn’t explain to you how tiresome modern dating is because the experience is mine to bear.

To be honest, I shouldn’t have to do all those things because I would like to believe that you’d respect my decision whether it’s to be committed or a freelancer in love.

I’m not expecting you to understand why I made this conscious decision, but I hope that one day you’ll stop viewing the “single” status as an apocalyptic event and instead perceive it the way I do: it’s a part of life’s journey that is meant to be thoroughly enjoyed.