I’m Trusting You To Love Me


What’s the difference between love and trust?

In my right hand, I hold the knowledge that I love you. I know for a fact that not for a single moment since I met you have I not loved you. You’re the first thought on my mind in the morning and the last before I go to sleep. I’d give my life for you in a heartbeat, and I stay alive for you every day.

In my left hand, the trust I’ve held for you is slipping through my fingers, and I’m trying so hard to catch it before it completely falls. I want nothing more than to trust that we’ll be okay and you’re not going to hurt me again, but that seems like a far reach after how many times you’ve already done so.

It’s hard to know how to trust someone when you’re not even completely sure what trust truly is.

I think I’m putting my thoughts on trust in the wrong places. I don’t really think trust is about having faith that you won’t hurt me again. I don’t think it means expecting you to not do it again, and I don’t even believe that it’s about believing that you’ve changed.

Trust doesn’t seem to be about fighting for us to work out, or for the ring on my finger to have a real meaning. It doesn’t mean putting all of my eggs into the basket that says “EVERYTHING WILL BE PERFECT FOREVER NOW.”

I don’t even think that rebuilding our trust means having faith in myself. It has nothing to do with knowing that I’ll be okay no matter what happens. I know I will be, and I don’t need to trust that.

I’m learning that trust and love aren’t the same thing, they just walk hand in hand.

What it comes down to is that I can’t love you without trust and I can’t trust you without love.

I trust you because I know that whatever comes from my love for you will be the best thing for me in the long run. I love you because I trust that.

Trust is bigger than you, or me, or our relationship. Trust isn’t about trying to know something for sure. Trust isn’t about having a crystal ball and predicting the future. Trust is about loving each other.

I put my trust in you because I trust our love for each other and the fate that will come out of it.