Is It OK To Punch A Communist?


“Better dead than Red” is what they used to say during the Cold War. But wouldn’t it simply be better to punch a Red right in his good-for-nothing face?

I mean, let’s be honest, communists basically suck. They killed 100 million people in their blood-soaked reign-of-terror between 1917 and 1991. The list of dictators (and all communist leaders are dictators) include some of the worst people in history such as Joseph Stalin, Mao Zedong and Pol Pot. And it’s not like Vladamir Lenin, Fidel Castro, Kim Jung-Il, Kim Il-sung, Slobodan Milosevic, Enver Hoxha, Erich Honecker and Nicolae Ceausescu were any good either.

The list of genocides, massacres and atrocities almost all over a short period of about 70 years would make even the most tyrannical Medieval despot blush; the Holodomor, the Great Leap Forward, the Katyn Forest Massacre, the Gulags, the Great Terror, the Killing Fields, the Cultural Revolution and on and on and on.

Today there are only really two, maybe three, communist countries. Let’s see how they do.

  • North Korea: Worst country in the world.
  • Cuba: Not the worst, but contra Justin Trudeau, pretty damn bad.
  • Venezuela: Not even fully communist, yet undergoing a catastrophic economic collapse as communist countries tend to do.

Furthermore, let’s not forget communism’s long history of terrorism; from FARC to the Weatherman, to the assassinations of President William McKinley and John F. Kennedy (assuming the CIA didn’t do it, of course) and the attempted assassination of Gerald Ford as well as the Haymarket bombing. (OK, those some of those were done by anarchists, but the difference between them is mostly in approach to their classless society.)

In short: blood-thirsty dictators when in power, terrorists when not.

After describing this sordid history, some stupid commie might retort with something like “You know, real communism has never been tried and all communism is about is making everyone equal and blah blah blah.” One could respond that the economic assumptions behind communism have been refuted and that communism is based on a completely unrealistic view of human nature. One could also simply state that given the many tries and 0.000 batting average, perhaps communism is actually not one mass murder away from utopia, but has actually been given one too many chances already.

But forget that, would not a better response be to just punch that damn pinko commie right in the face?

After all, some ideas are just too dangerous to tolerate. Never again! We cannot let the proponents of such an evil, blood-soaked ideology even so much as make their case. Think of the horror if we were unable to stop them from making the United Soviet States of America a reality with such pathetic tools like freedom of speech. Bleh. Punches are so much better.

Oh yeah, and one last quick point. Communists tend to lie, so who is and is not a communist will be decided be me and me alone.